Basil Rathbone was hot.

Holy crap, I do NOT feel well right now. My hands and feet are burning due to diabetic peripheral neuropathy, my leg muscles ache, my knees hurt, my right arm is stiff as a board, I’ve got electric shocks in my bunions, my blood sugar has been consistently way too low since yesterday morning and — worst of all — IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT AND I’M WIDE AWAKE. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been back and forth to bed three times but keep waking up either in pain or, like right now, with HYPOGLYCEMIA. This is one of the crappiest nights I’ve ever had. Thank God Sam is planning a Costco adventure this morning because NOTHING MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THAN TEENY TACOS. (Except possibly drugs.)

Other essentials on Sam’s shopping list today include: 1) a bag of two dozen peeled hard-boiled eggs; 2) chipotle chicken flautas; 3) breakfast burritos; 4) a million muffins; and 5) huge Chinese chicken salad wraps with a cute cup of Asian dressing on the side. For your possible interest a photo of item 5 appears below but I couldn’t find an image of the dressing.

A few minutes ago while I was Googling pictures of the Chinese chicken salad wraps I discovered a really cute blog called Addicted to Costco. One of the commenters was asking if anybody had creative ideas for a Costco-themed birthday party for her husband so I suggested invitations that look like Costco receipts, a greeter at the front door striping them with a green magic marker and waitresses in matching outfits handing out various samples in little plastic medicine cups, such as smoked sausage, pimiento cheese, tuna surprise and mouthwash. (Possibly also Pepto Bismol.)

Holy crap, I need some sleep and I need it BAD.

---

For those of you who didn’t feel compelled to watch Monday Night Football last night, the Cowboys lost to the Redskins (20 to 17 in overtime) and Dallas quarterback Tony Romo — who has the most punchable face in the NFL — got squished during the game by a bunch of meanies and is now on the injured list due to being a fragile little ninny with a bad back. (No, I don’t like Tony Romo.)

For the record, I turned off last night’s annoying game after the first half-hour (I got sick of the damn commercials) and decided to entertain myself instead with Sin Takes a Holiday (1930) starring Constance Bennett and Basil Rathbone.

I might be the only movie fan on earth who thinks BASIL RATHBONE WAS HOT.