The lying sacks of poo at
Weather.com are forecasting thunderstorms today for the drought-ravaged Dallas metro area. We haven’t had any rain here since two days of really pathetic sprinkles back in mid-September that brought the month’s total rainfall to barely half an inch. That’s 2.5 inches below “normal.” We’re screwed. WE NEED RAIN AND WE NEED IT IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE CATTLE CAN’T DRINK DUST. The big hoo-hah is supposed to start around 4 with “severe storms” and “locally heavy rainfall.” (I’ll believe it when I see it.)
Hey, people, if you like popcorn you have to try this cheap bagged snack from
Wal-Mart. It’s the best pre-popped popcorn EVER and actually tastes like the buttered popcorn you buy in movie theaters. As a bonus, it’s NOT GREASY, it’s got THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF SALT and the texture is crunchy and fresh and NOT SQUEAKY LIKE PACKING PEANUTS. Even the
packaging is superior because the bag is foil-lined and vacuum-packed so you don’t end up with a sack of crumbs.
Incidentally, Great Value popcorn is Wal-Mart’s store brand and I buy it
online because reviewers say it’s hard to find (out of stock) in the store ... a clear indication that everybody loves this cheap yet tasty crap as much as I do.
I’ve actually got TWO product recalls to share with y’all today! First, those poor slobs at Foster Farms just can’t catch a break, can they? In July they had to recall a bazillion pounds of raw chicken for salmonella contamination and now it’s 40,000 pounds of frozen grilled chicken breast strips with Listeria. Specifically, these are 3½-pound bags with a “best by” date of August 15, 2015. The poisoned chicken was shipped to retailers in California, Texas, Utah and Washington. ( Texans don’t sweat small stuff like Listeria. We’re dealing with EBOLA.)
Also, the Food and Drug Administration has issued a voluntary recall on 36 lots of theater-size boxes of M&Ms that were distributed with
peanut butter M&Ms in
plain M&Ms packaging. Even though the boxes say “peanut butter” on the outside, the FDA is pretty sure people with life-threatening peanut allergies are too fucking stupid to read. If you’re an M&Ms fan with a peanut allergy it might be in your best interest to review the FDA-released lot numbers before you throw any candy in your mouth. Or just buy a box of Sno Caps instead.
I’ve got lots more to write but I think I’ll wait until after dinner because it’s 6 p.m. and all of a sudden I’m really hungry. Tonight’s post topics will include Ebola in Dallas, prison sentences for “Real Housewives of New Jersey” fuck-ups Teresa and Joe Giudice, another new senior citizen recipe and a movie review of the amazing pre-Code classic
Downstairs (1932) starring Paul Lukas, Virginia Bruce and John Gilbert. As a teaser, here’s a photo of the Guidices on their way out of court this morning.
Y’all come back now, okay?
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