Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Why can’t it be onion rings?

I haven’t decided yet if this will be a long or a short Howdygram post because there’s a lot of very important crapola going on here today and tomorrow.

Dear World: I hate Greg Abbott and love Amazon Fresh!

The state of Texas is out of its fucking mind. Our maniacal pro-Trump governor, grifter-in-chief Greg Abbott, decided all by himself — against warnings and directives by the CDC and the Board of Health — to “reopen” the state so that everybody can go back to their favorite hair and nail salons, bars, restaurants and shopping malls even though Texas has the worst COVID-19 infection rate in the United States with more new cases daily than ANYWHERE … including Mars. After Abbott’s proclamation, the entire under-30 age group did exactly what he wanted them to do, and barely two weeks later they all wound up infected with Coronavirus. Totally predictable and expected, and now all those poor twits are sick, miserable, unemployed and hospitalized with no insurance coverage! To make things even worse, now their parents are sick, their children are sick, their grandparents are sick, their friends are sick and their neighbors are sick.

Introducing Marcy’s Easy-Peasy Opioids and Olives Diet!

The life of a bedridden coot is an interesting one. Mostly, I guess, I’m faced with an endless stretch of days and weeks, ridiculous 18-hour spans of sleep, forgotten meals and missed medications … I almost can’t keep up sometimes. At the moment it’s 8:45 Wednesday morning. I’d like to take my morning meds, but Sam hasn’t brought them to me yet (he’s asleep), so I thought I’d kill a little time with the Howdygram. Hello, everybody.

Sam has acquired the manly art of whackin’ down shit with a chainsaw!

Happy Wednesday morning, ladies and gentlemen. I’m enjoying one of my favorite movies — Act One (1963) starring George Hamilton and Jason Robards — while Sam and I wait for a visit from my hospice’s Director of Nursing. Martha said she’d be here between 11 and 12 with a plan to discuss two different subjects: 1) can we please tell her which medications I don’t take any more* so she can update her records; and 2) she wants to figure out if there’s a way to make me more comfortable in bed because right now I’m not (comfortable, that is) and it’s entirely likely that I’m not breathing properly or digesting my food very well, either.

Remember in my last post when I told you I was losing interest in fonts? I lied.

It’s been a whole week since my last Howdygram post, but I’ve got a solid reason that: I’VE BEEN ASLEEP. Yes, for the whole goddamn week!