Happy anniversary to the Queen and Prince Philip!

Before I do anything else I’d like to wish all of you a very happy — and very belated — Thanksgiving. I hope your day was filled with piles of food and mountains of gravy. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH GRAVY. Seriously.

We have something to celebrate today.

I have some amazing news. AMAZING. For a very long time I’ve been worried, off and on, about how I’d get some much-needed dental work when the time came. I haven’t been out of the house since 2011 due to health problems and mobility issues, and it was probably 2010 that last time I saw a dentist. He did impressions, made me an upper denture and referred me to a local oral surgeon, who extracted six teeth. The upper denture fit perfectly from day one and I never had a reason to go back.

Try my world-famous “Texas Caviar” recipe.

It’s 9:45 on an overcast Thursday morning. Welcome to November in Texas, people. Pleasant temperatures (today’s high will be 71°) but dreary. Sam is out taking a walk and I’m here in the study with the Howdygram and a bag of Chester’s cheese puffcorn. This is a nicer snack than Cheetos because Chester’s doesn’t turn your fingers orange. My only complaint: I order Chester’s Puffcorn online from Wal-Mart and they’re charging $2.75 for a bag that’s clearly marked “$2 only.” What the fuck! Are they KIDDING?

I’m a senior citizen with diabetes, a shitty immune system and kidney disease. How about you?

Yes, dear readers, it’s me again, ... coming to you live from Howdygram headquarters, the nerve center of north Texas! As always I find myself compelled to apologize for the long delay since my last post. I’ve been sick again. This time it was another urinary tract infection with a raging fever, during which I didn’t eat, couldn’t stand up, pished all over tarnation and scared Sam half to death. (For me, these recurring infections are exacerbated by the fact that I’m a senior citizen with diabetes, a shitty immune system and kidney disease.) Afterwards it took a couple of days to get my appetite back and walk without feeling (or looking) inebriated. I’m doing well now. Thank you for asking.

Happy birthday to me. Yee-haw.

Hi-de-ho, everybody. Here’s a Howdygram news bulletin for you.

I’m 66 years old today.