Motivation and a Marcytini ... the perfect catalyst for a Howdygram post.

It’s another hot and sweaty fall afternoon here in north Texas. Our landscapers just finished mowing for the zillionth time since April, our maid is vacuuming the master bedroom, and I’m comfortably parked at my desk with motivation and a Marcytini ... the perfect catalyst for a Howdygram post. I’ll probably stop halfway, though, for a nap. Because RETIREMENT!

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I’ve got a pair of highly-qualified putzes to share with you this week, proving once again that there’s no shortage of state-employed jackasses here in Texas. First up? Governor Rick “Hairdo” Perry for his skillful handling of The Great Ebola Panic of 2014 here in Dallas. After initially announcing the outbreak at the beginning of October, Perry conveniently bailed out for a 17-day European vacation on the state’s dime, hid from the press and public, and ultimately left everybody else in the state — including the federal government — struggling to deal with his mess.

Ironically, now that the last two Ebola patients have been moved successfully to other states and 75 healthy people in Dallas have been released from quarantine, Governor Oops flies home to announce his presidential-sounding TEXAS TASK FORCE ON INFECTIOUS DISEASE PREPAREDNESS AND RESPONSE and names two designated hospitals to handle all future Ebola patients from this day forward.  

EXCEPT THE EBOLA CRISIS IS OVER AND RICK PERRY IS TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT.

He started out by warning America that infected West Africans are definitely sneaking across the border with Mexicans and Muslim terrorists, and now he wants to be the state that welcomes Ebola patients. Obviously he’s figured out how to make money from from a deadly virus even if it puts everybody in the state at risk.

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Next up is right-wing bigot Dan Patrick, the GOP clown who’s running for lieutenant governor here in Texas. I’ll begin with some basic facts.

Dan Patrick ...

• is a Christian radio “shock jock” farther to the right than Rush Limbaugh who gets paid to insult people, foment lies and spread conspiracy theories. (He is also a multi-millionaire who owns the two biggest talk radio stations in Dallas and Houston.)
• runs up enormous debts and then files bankruptcy.
• has had 28 tax liens filed against him.
• has well-documented mental health issues and has attempted suicide twice.
• changed his name to hide his past.
• would force women to carry a rapist’s pregnancy to term.
• is described by his Republican colleagues as a “snake oil salesman” and “a narcissist that would say anything to draw attention to himself.”
• wants creationism to be taught in public schools.
• doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state.
• opposes laws to protect equal pay for women and denies that a pay disparity even exists. 
• says it’s a “myth” that “Planned Parenthood has anything to do with women’s health.”
• wants to repeal the 17th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which establishes direct election of U.S. senators by popular vote.

Look at that face. What you see is a living, breathing (repulsive) example of anti-immigrant and anti-gay bigotry, misogyny, hate and intolerance. Did you know that Mexicans bring leprosy to Texas and that immigrants without documents are murderers, drug runners and rapists? That the state should appoint attorneys to represent ABORTED FETUSES? (That last comment is so fucked up I can’t even discuss it.)

Bottom line ... there is no uglier, nastier, meaner, right-wing piece of shit in any federal or statewide elected office in America. And believe me, I’m dead serious about this. Every major newspaper in the state has endorsed his opponent, adorable little Leticia Van de Putte, and Democrats are working their collective asses off to elect her in November. If you could throw in a few bucks to help us, please click here as soon as possible.

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Thank you for putting up with that rant, people. I’m just a housebound senior citizen of the progressive persuasion doing my best to fight the Texas Y’all Qaeda. It ain’t easy.