The 2016 Republican clown car is filling up fast.

The big news first, okay? An order issued by the Supreme Court today ensured that ABORTION CLINICS IN TEXAS MUST STAY OPEN. The order negated part of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling issued a couple of weeks ago that would have forced 13 of the state’s 18 women’s health centers that provide abortion services to close in compliance with new “safety” requirements that would have cost millions of dollars in bullshit building code upgrades to turn clinics into fancy-ass “ambulatory surgical centers” and require all staff doctors to have hospital admitting privileges.

Basically, the Supreme Court sent up a red flag and told Texas officials to stop the crap, invalidating the state’s new rules until the New Orleans-based appeals court can make a final decision on the constitutionality of the original law. Even though I no longer have a uterus of my own, THIS IS A FUCKING AWESOME VICTORY FOR THE WOMEN OF TEXAS.

And thanks to a blog post I just read on Gawker.com I’d like to mention that — contrary to all the “bad press” from right-wing misogynists — Planned Parenthood does a hell of a lot more than provide abortions. Closing Planned Parenthood clinics denies women of limited means a complete range of reproductive health care services at heavily reduced prices, including cancer screenings, ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, birth control and well-woman exams.

I can’t believe I”m still screeching about this in 2014, but we have to stop allowing the old white men of the Republican party to dictate women’s health care. ELECT DEMOCRATS IN NOVEMBER! (Thank you.)

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And finally ... it looks like the 2016 Republican clown car is filling up fast! In recent weeks perennial presidential candidate and entitled frat-boy Mittens Romney has been huddling with prominent donors and reconnecting with some of his past supporters. Considering the dearth of functioning brain cells in the Republican party and the lack of any clear front-runner, can Mitt save the GOP from a fuckwit like Ben Carson or delusional Bobby Jindal?

Excuse me, but isn’t that technically what Romney was expected to do for the Republicans in 2012? I don’t remember how that worked out. Can somebody remind me?

Mitt wanted to be President in 2008, but he didn’t get to be President. Then he wanted it REAL BAD in 2012 but didn’t get it then, either. And we already get it in advance for 2016, because he still wants to be President BUT HE STILL WON’T GET IT. And why not? Because nobody likes Mitt Romney and they never have. Even the ridiculous biographical documentary that was supposed to make the frat-boy seem like a real human simply confirmed what everybody already knew: Mitt’s an unlikable jerk with car elevators, a houseful of dickhead sons and a wife who drives “a couple of Cadillacs.” Which is why Mitt didn’t win in 2008 or 2012 and (spoiler alert!) why he’ll never win in 2016.

However, that won’t stop the Howdygram from loving every minute of the charade because we have plenty of space for Putz of the Week awards and always enjoy every opportunity to point and laugh at Republicans.

Thank you for reading this.