I’d like to launch this Howdygram post with TWO IMPORTANT TEXAS NEWS STORIES, okay? (I should be in bed right now, but what the hell ... I’d rather do this instead.)
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Sam Kane Beef Processors of Corpus Christi, Texas, has recalled 90,987 pounds of ground beef after some whiny-ass consumers complained about finding hunks of metal in the meat. The pieces were reported to be about 3mm in size and one person even chipped a tooth. However, Alfred Bausch, general manager of Sam Kane Beef, wants the public to STOP MAKING SUCH A BIG FUCKING HOO-HAH out of this. “It was NOT a food safety issue,” he said. “It was a foreign object and the foreign object was very small.”
In other words, we would apologize if we gave you E.coli, but random shards of metal buried in your ground beef are of no consequence whatsoever so SHUT THE HELL UP about it.
The company is recalling three-, five- and ten-pound packages of HEB ground beef and ground chuck patties. You should visit the USDA’s website for item numbers, production dates and use-by dates. You might also consider renting a metal detector before you eat your next meatloaf.
For what it’s worth, I hope Sam Kane Beef goes BANKRUPT. What a bunch of jerks.
Buc-ee’s has finally broken ground for their newest high-class truck stop, which is scheduled to open sometime next summer in Terrell, Texas ... just a stone’s throw from Howdygram headquarters. Buc-ee’s, for the uninitiated, is a chain of monstrously-huge
— 65,000 square feet! — truck stops all over the state of Texas that feature the world’s largest jerky delicatessen, walls and walls of bagged candy and crunchy snacks, Texas souvenirs, stuffed beaver dolls with buck teeth, hot food to go, billions of beverages, gigantic really clean bathrooms and endless rows of gas pumps, making it a beloved institution and a popular destination for rednecks. The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) Buc-ee’s at Spur 557 near Interstate 20.
Here are a few photos of a Buc-ee’s truck stop so you’ll get the general idea. In the meantime, please send me an
email if you’d like to be on the Howdygram’s mailing list for Buc-ee’s grand opening updates! And FYI, I hear the town of Terrell has approved construction for an exciting array of additional new businesses RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET including Dairy Queen, In-n-Out Burger and a REAL MOTEL so you can stay nearby for the full redneck experience!
Holy crap. It’s after 3 a.m. already and I have to go to bed now. Thank you for reading this.
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