My life doesn’t usually work out like a normal person.

You’d think a creaky senior citizen like yours truly would be pleased to get an extra hour of sleep — no strings attached — with the end of Daylight Savings Time, but my life doesn’t usually work out like a normal person. Breaking with my typical morning routine I sit bolt upright in bed at 5 a.m. and announce to Sam that I have to take a shower. He volunteers to turn the water on for me, but while I wait on the edge of the bed I realize I’ve got a major hypoglycemic episode going on and I think I might pass out. I have to shift gears FAST.

Always a quick thinker, I manage to revise my battle plan and bark a bunch of alternative orders: TURN OFF THE SHOWER! FIND MY FAVORITE LONG-SLEEVE PURPLE ROBE THAT I BOUGHT LAST YEAR WITH THE GOOD POCKETS! I NEED GLUCOSE THINGS! WHERE ARE MY DAMN TEETH! Once we accomplish my immediate goals I start to feel better and eventually go back to bed, but this was a crazy-ass morning and I’m ready to move on and eat things. Maybe popcorn.

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Hey, did anybody notice the new navigation buttons in the right sidebar? You know, the things pictured below that I spent three hours designing yesterday ON MY BIRTHDAY?

In case you’re interested, the font I used is one I actually paid REAL MONEY for a few years ago. I call it the “Obama font” because it’s the same one President Obama used for his logo and campaign materials in 2008 and 2012, but the actual name of the font is Gotham and it cost me a minor fortune at the time.

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The Howdygram would like to recommend a few of our favorite movies coming up this week on TCM. They are:

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4

The Cat and the Canary (1939) starring Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard

The Seven Little Foys (1955) starring Bob Hope and James Cagney

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 5

The Sport Parade (1932) starring Joel McCrea
Foreign Correspondent (1940) starring Joel McCrea, Laraine Day and George Sanders
Nicholas and Alexandra (1971) starring Michael Jayston and Janet Suzman

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 6

The Third Man (1949) starring Joseph Cotten and Orson Welles
Dodsworth (1936) starring Ruth Chatterton, Walter Huston and Mary Astor

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7

Gun Crazy (1950) starring Peggy Cummins and John Dall

If you don’t have time to watch ALL of these movies then just go with my top two picks: Nicholas and Alexandra — REVOLUTION! RASPUTIN! DEAD ROMANOVS! — and Dodsworth because it’s a heart-wrenching Sinclair Lewis story with amazing performances and a great ending.

Thank you, as always, for reading this. Is it time for lunch now?