Only in Texas! Next year public school textbooks will include Moses as one of the Founding Fathers.

It’s 4:45 Saturday morning and WE’RE STILL WAITING FOR THE RAIN that was supposed to be here yesterday at 9 a.m. During the last 20 hours we’ve watched the forecast change from 9 a.m. to noon, then 3 p.m., 6 p.m., 9 p.m. and midnight. Last night when Sam and I went to bed the hourly forecast pushed the thunderstorms to 3:30 a.m. Saturday, but even THAT didn’t come to pass. The latest guess from the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com is light rain starting at 10 a.m. What a clusterfuck. THESE PEOPLE ARE ON MY LAST GOOD NERVE.

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Here’s some breaking news from our Only in Texas department. The state’s newly-approved public school social studies textbook for the 2015/16 school year includes Moses — that beloved 18th century patriot — as one of our Founding Fathers, denies that slaves were ever “tortured” and discredits climate science. Seriously, people ... if you have kids in school here I’d consider moving someplace else RIGHT NOW. Thank you.

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I have another Texas news item providing I can write this next paragraph without throwing up. By now you’ve probably heard about that creepy, predatory 17-year-old boy named Ricardo Lugo who used forged documents to enroll as a sixth grader at a suburban Fort Worth grammar school. Why? To help groom abuse victims for his 28-year-old pedophile roommate, Randy Wesson, who was posing as his father.

When the police raided Wesson’s apartment this week he had more than 42,000 child pornography images on his computer, thumb drives, phone and data cards and admitted to abusing more than 100 young boys. Lugo and Wesson have been arrested and are sitting in jail. Holy shit.

My question is, how the hell did teachers and school administrators not notice that Lugo wasn’t a 12-year-old boy? HE’S SIX FEET TALL, SPEAKS THREE LANGUAGES AND SHAVES!

I have to go back to bed. My brain is fried.