I slept very, very badly last night. Here’s the basic rundown for your possible interest: I went to bed at 2:30 a.m., woke up at 5:30 with low blood sugar, parked myself in the study with a teeny bottle of Coke Zero until 6:50, went back to bed at 6:52, thrashed around for an hour freezing to death because Sam was hogging the blanket, and now I’m back in the study thinking about breakfast. I’m pooped, people. I NEED SLEEP AND I NEED IT NOW. Holy crap.
Know what? We’re overdue for a Putz of the Week, and once again I’d like to feature the Howdygram’s favorite repeat honoree, our halfwit outgoing governor Rick “Hairdo” Perry. This time Governor Hairdo got it all wrong on the subject of net neutrality by stating: “President Obama’s call to saddle 21st century technology with outdated, unnecessary regulations from the era of the Great Depression is alarming and will stifle innovation and growth.”
For the record, President Obama wants to reclassify the Internet as a public utility to prevent corporate service providers like Comcast, AT&T and Verizon from screwing consumers when it comes to fair access and not allow the ISPs to hold faster data speeds for ransom. In his mad rush to automatically despise everything that the president supports, Rick Perry decides to shoot from the hip and take a position that makes him look like a complete jerk.
Just because a law was first enacted in the 1930s doesn’t mean it’s worthless, Governor. If that were the case we should dump a few archaic 229-year-old amendments to the Constitution ... STARTING WITH NUMBER TWO.
Perry went on to hang himself a second time by spewing additional meaningless words: “We should embrace a business and regulatory climate that encourages competition and empowers consumers with greater choice and access to high-speed internet and all the business, consumer, education and health care benefits that come with it.”
What?
Governor, before you decide to hate something on national television PLEASE MAKE AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND IT FIRST, because the only entities who should come out against net neutrality are CORPORATE SERVICE PROVIDERS, not a public servant who wants to “empower consumers.”
And out of curiosity, how do
health care benefits figure into this?
I’m mad about a thing again. This time it’s the mentally ill shipping procedures at
Wal-Mart. If I order four things online at the same time they all get shipped separately from different warehouses all over the United States. My most recent order, for instance, includes Naproxen capsules (Georgia), knockoff Tylenol tablets (Nevada), three boxes of Pop Secret (Carrollton, Texas) and Lee Kum Kee hoisin sauce (Illinois).
What the fuck? HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE COST-EFFECTIVE if you’ve got four employees in four locations processing four orders in four shipping boxes with four separate tracking numbers on four different delivery trucks ... AND SHIPPING IS FREE? This is a total pain in the ass and I absolutely don’t understand it.
The point is, if Wal-Mart seriously thinks they can compete with
Amazon — and they just announced their plan to price-match Amazon for the Christmas holidays — they’ll have to do way better than this crazy shipping horseshit and figure out how to streamline their distribution.
Thank you for letting me vent. Everybody live and be well, okay?
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