I’m the senior citizen in a purple robe waving out the window.

There’s nothing whatsoever happening here right now except a lot of rain. It’s not as heavy as the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com originally forecast but it’s rain nonetheless and we’ll take whatever we can get due to OUR SHITTY THREE-YEAR DROUGHT. The teeny red star on the map below indicates Howdygram headquarters. If you zoom in, I’m the senior citizen in a purple robe waving out the window. (I’ll turn on a lamp after 6 p.m. so you can still see me.)

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Today is Election Day. PLEASE VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS. I have no confidence that anybody is actually doing this, however, so to fill the void in the meantime I’ve lined up some excellent movies for tonight’s entertainment. You know, as a distraction.

First up is Merrily We Live (1938), an adorable screwball comedy starring Constance Bennett, Brian Aherne, Billie Burke, Alan Mowbray, Bonita Granville and Clarence Kolb. This had to be the defining role of Kolb’s career and just about the funniest slapstick routines I’ve ever seen on film. And he was 64 years old at the time!

Also on tap for tonight is Champagne for Caesar (1950) starring Ronald Colman, Celeste Holm, Vincent Price and Barbara Britton, a little-known screwball comedy that hasn’t been seen on TV in maybe 50 years due to copyright/distribution issues. I’m a huge Ronald Colman fan but never even heard of this movie until I read page after page of ten-star reviews on the Internet Movie Database a couple of weeks ago. So ... I ordered the DVD from Amazon and TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT since I’m trying to avoid the election results and always appreciate any excuse to eat another bag of Pop Secret with Movie Theater Butter. Maybe TWO if I decide to skip dinner.

Also in the cast are Lyle Talbot, Art Linkletter (is anybody besides yours truly old enough to remember Art Linkletter?) as well as an inebriated parrot voiced by legendary Mel Blanc.

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Sam isn’t coming home from work tonight because he’s stuck at the office with a bunch of in-house clients until sun-up Wednesday morning. If you think this stinks, you’d be right. Fortunately he squeezed in a couple of juicy naps before he left today, so that’s something, plus he had a nice lunch. At my end, the big unknown is whether or not I’ll get any sleep tonight because I wake up every 30 minutes to look at the clock. Holy crap.