TWO MISSING PRESCRIPTION REFILLS. In the morning Sam drove over to Wal-Mart and CVS to pick up three prescription refills I’d ordered online last Friday, but only one was ready because apparently Dr. M’s office never called back to authorize the refills. What the fuck? It’s been six days! I’M RUNNING OUT OF INSULIN, YOU MORONS! So I send an email to Dr. M, and her loser nurse — the exact same bozo who usually sends my refill authorizations to the wrong store — writes back that she remembers approving the refills but “the pharmacies apparently lost them.” Nope, nope, nope. Not possible. I’ve been filling prescriptions for several thousand years and I’ve never had a pharmacy lose a refill authorization. NOT EVEN ONCE. And for it to happen to TWO DIFFERENT PRESCRIPTIONS AT TWO DIFFERENT PHARMACIES ON THE SAME DAY is beyond the scope of reality. And now poor Sam has to shlep back to both stores this morning. Shlepping to multiple stores two days in a row is NOT his favorite thing to do.
THE MAID FUCKED UP MY AFTERNOON NAP. I was very short on sleep from Tuesday night but didn’t have a chance to take my daily after-lunch nap until very late in the day due to my maid showing up at 2 p.m. and I think it’s impolite to be unconscious while she vacuums around my body. So I forced myself to stay awake until she left around 4, at which time I passed out for three hours on the chaise in the family room watching Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring James Mason and Pat Boone.
WEATHER.COM REDESIGNED THEIR WEBSITE. The URL of my favorite forecast page disappeared and I got really upset. I don’t respond well to change.
THERE WAS A FLY IN THE HOUSE. A really BIG one. I first discovered it after dinner buzzing in front of the TV, then around the lamp in the family room, and then the damn thing trailed me into the study and circled my head until I almost had a nervous breakdown. Eventually I crept out of the room and closed the door, trapping it until Sam got home from work at 10:30. (Sam is in charge of insect executions.) In the interim I ate pizza, watched “Top Chef,” loaded the dishwasher but didn’t write a Howdygram post because the study was sealed off with crime scene tape.
THE MAID FUCKED UP MY AFTERNOON NAP. I was very short on sleep from Tuesday night but didn’t have a chance to take my daily after-lunch nap until very late in the day due to my maid showing up at 2 p.m. and I think it’s impolite to be unconscious while she vacuums around my body. So I forced myself to stay awake until she left around 4, at which time I passed out for three hours on the chaise in the family room watching Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring James Mason and Pat Boone.
WEATHER.COM REDESIGNED THEIR WEBSITE. The URL of my favorite forecast page disappeared and I got really upset. I don’t respond well to change.
THERE WAS A FLY IN THE HOUSE. A really BIG one. I first discovered it after dinner buzzing in front of the TV, then around the lamp in the family room, and then the damn thing trailed me into the study and circled my head until I almost had a nervous breakdown. Eventually I crept out of the room and closed the door, trapping it until Sam got home from work at 10:30. (Sam is in charge of insect executions.) In the interim I ate pizza, watched “Top Chef,” loaded the dishwasher but didn’t write a Howdygram post because the study was sealed off with crime scene tape.
The graphic below illustrates four of Pizza Hut’s five new toppings. I didn’t include an image of the fresh spinach because spinach is NOT a valid pizza ingredient. (If you want a salad, order a goddamn salad.)
I have lots more to write about but it’s 6:45 in the morning and I need to go back to bed for a little while. Turn out the light when you’re done here, okay?
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