Saturday, October 18, 2014

Try Marcycita’s South-of-the-Border Tamale Bake for Senior Citizens with Hot Sauce.

I’ve just discovered that it’s fun and liberating to wake up at 4:30 in the morning for a routine middle-of-the-night senior citizen bathroom adventure and wind up in the study eating Russell Stover sugar-free marshmallow pumpkins! Right here on my desk I’ve got a great big display box of 36 GORGEOUS FOIL-WRAPPED PUMPKINS filled with FLUFFY MARSHMALLOW CREAM ... exactly like you’d find them next to the register at Walgreens. Seriously, can life get any better than this?

According to local news reports, Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital here in Dallas — ground zero for The Great Ebola Panic of 2014 — is about two-thirds empty now. With more than 70 employees on “self-monitoring quarantine” at home to keep an eye out for Ebola symptoms, hospital patients are bailing in droves, ambulances are staying away from E.R., everybody’s canceling appointments for tests and x-rays and a sad remnant of assorted hospital staff is picketing at the curb for respect. Because they apparently want us to forget these are the same dickheads who thought Thomas Eric Duncan had a SINUS INFECTION and sent him home on September 25 with antibiotics. Holy mother of crap.
The situation at Presbyterian Hospital is so pathetic they’ve hired Burson-Marsteller, an international public relations firm, to get their reputation out of the toilet following a string of missteps, huge fucking errors and stupid press releases. Their first bright idea was to post heartwarming YouTube videos of employees who love their jobs, but mostly this comes across as two people who like their paychecks. Does this make you feel safer? Yeah, me neither.

Hey ... ready for another senior citizen recipe? This time it’s MARCYCITA’S SOUTH-OF-THE-BORDER TAMALE BAKE FOR SENIOR CITIZENS WITH HOT SAUCE, a fast and tasty casserole that includes all of the following quality ingredients: two cans of Hormel tamales, shredded cheddar cheese, Tapatío hot sauce and a box of Homestyle low-carb chili. (Feel free to use canned chili. I don’t care.)
The directions are really easy, people. Take a nice glass baking pan, spread the chili on the bottom and sprinkle it with some shredded cheddar cheese. Empty both cans of tamales onto a large plate, remove the paper tamale condoms, drain off the liquid and then arrange the tamales in neat rows on the chili and cheese (see below). Shake some Tapatío all over everything, add a little more cheese and microwave on high for about three minutes until everything gets melty. That’s it! LET’S EAT!
Gracias for reading this. Pass the napkins.

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