Classic Donald Trump: “The buck stops with everybody.”

Happy Sunday night from Howdygram headquarters. As I write this post I’m stretched out on my hospital bed in the family room and Sam is nearby, napping on the sofa. He looks incredibly comfortable. And we don’t give a shit that it’s winter.

“Bechamel Roman” is probably the most incredible font I’ve seen in a long, long time.

I think I owe you an explanation. While it was my intention to write a Howdygram post many days ago, I got sidetracked by feeling like total crap. Mostly I was having catheter issues again — resulting in serious leakage — and ongoing pain from the longest-running urinary tract infection (i.e., a UTI) in medical history. However tomorrow will be the “big day.” My hospice administrator promised results from the urine culture and sensitivity test that we sent to the lab on Monday, followed immediately thereafter by an emergency prescription for whichever antibiotic will cure the goddamn thing. Finally … it’s almost over. Stay tuned!

Life is good. I’ve been binge-watching endless episodes of “Bar Rescue.”

I didn’t write a Howdygram post yesterday. Get over it, okay? I was under the weather again with those goddamn burning spasms [see Saturday’s post] and just didn’t feel like expressing myself. Instead I filled my day with multiple bowls of Maruchan Hot & Spicy Bowl Noodles with Shrimp, a pair of orange Hostess cupcakes — these definitely looked better than they tasted — and binge-watching 27 episodes of “Bar Rescue.”

Will I have to bludgeon my nurse to death with a plastic soup mug?

This has been a day of behind-the-scenes suffering here at Howdygram headquarters. Sam is miserable tonight with a sprained neck, a migraine and miscellaneous body aches after a particularly physical demonstration for the hospice chaplain yesterday morning. He’s in a great deal of pain and just fell asleep on 10mg of Hydrocodone.

Please let me know if you’re making any plans to remember the Alamo this year.

It wasn’t my plan to write a Howdygram post tonight, but I’ve been through a roller-coaster ride of emotional turmoil today that deserves an explanation. So … here I am.

Happy New Year, everybody!

It’s 9:49 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. Sam’s unconscious on the sofa, I’m at my computer feeling moderately crappy, and That’s Entertainment I, II and III are playing live on Turner Classic Movies … because, quite frankly, if anything could make me feel better it would be an evening of classic MGM musicals. (And a handful of opioids.)

The Howdygram has a new banner. Woo-hoo!

SATURDAY, 12/29/2018, 9:06 P.M. Hey! Notice anything new and different, boys and girls? I was dicking around with the Howdygram tonight … and we have a new banner! A change was long overdue, as I was awfully fed up with the goony old cowboy graphic I’d been using for the last few years. So while our logotype remains the same, there’s a new cartoon now plus a few other “tweaked” graphic elements. I hope you approve. (If you don’t, please just keep it to yourself. Thank you.)

I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stand the pain from this goddamn urinary tract infection.

THURSDAY, 12/27/2018, 9:59 A.M. Happy Thursday morning from Howdygram headquarters. Sam is on his way to Costco for our usual weekly haul of amazing food, including: 1) teriyaki meatballs; 2) a tub of chicken salad with pecans and cranberries; 3) maybe cheese; 4) breakfast burritos; 5) ground coffee; and 6) a couple of essential OTC pharmacy-aisle items. He should be home within the hour, at which time we’ll take up a subject of critical importance … an early lunch.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

Howdy, good morning, shalom, and I want to wish our goyishe friends and relatives A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS from Sam and yours truly! It’s presently 7:54 a.m. on Christmas morning, Sam just got home from a two-hour walk in the woods — yes, we live near actual woods — and only moments ago I took a large wad of pills to jump-start my day. Trouble is, I honestly can’t recall whether or not I included a couple of Hydrocodone tablets … but if I still feel like shit an hour from now I’ll have my answer.

Spending your life as a bedridden invalid doesn’t mean you’ll ever be comfortable or well-rested.

Good morning, boys and girls. It’s Saturday morning, 3:40 a.m., and I’m trying to find various ways to relax. I haven’t had any sleep yet because I’m feeling jumpy. My feet, legs and hands are zapping me with constant electric shocks, courtesy of diabetic peripheral neuropathy. (It’s like having “restless leg syndrome” all over my body.)

Saturday’s highlight: An unexpected catheter change.

Jesus, what a day. It started normal enough, I guess, but eventually devolved into a pishing session multiple times every hour … and NOT into my catheter bag. I was lying in bed, peeing all over myself and making a complete mess of everything. We called my regular hospice R.N., Stella, who drove in all the way from Fort Worth to take care of me. Bottom line … I needed an unexpected catheter change, because an individual is NOT supposed to leak pee when she’s catheterized! Today’s experience was not a pleasant one (to say the least), so I think I’d better just move on. Thank you for putting up with me.

Some years ago I was diagnosed (by an actual therapist) with an “addictive personality disorder.”

It really hasn’t been my intention to ignore the Howdygram, but in recent days I’ve been completely wrapped up in The Howdygram Store — designing and uploading 116 new products from the comfort of my hospital bed — as well as creating three new marketplaces on Zazzle.com. As soon as they’re open for business (hopefully by the first of the year), they will be: Cases by Marcy, Mugs by Marcy and Cards by Marcy, each one focusing on a specific product line. The Howdygram Store, of course, will continue to sell everything.

We had an excavation hoo-hah here.

Yo, shalom,  howdy and how’s the family from the best address in the Lone Star State. It’s Friday morning, 7:36 a.m., and I apologize for taking a few days off this week (i.e., I haven’t posted here since Monday). There’s nothing wrong, really … I was just concentrating on developing and designing additional products — holiday cards, iPhone cases, luggage tags, etc. — for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle. I also spent a great deal of time on Wednesday opening three additional stores, although at this point I’m not really sure I’ll ever use them. (Details follow in case you give a shit about this.)

Captain Parmenter died on Saturday.

Happy Sunday night from Texas. y’all. I’ve had a mostly-abyssmal day that included: 1) relentless burning pain from the world’s shittiest urinary tract infection; 2) a panic attack; 3) getting very sweaty for no reason; and 4) not enough to eat even though Sam let me have a slice of his private apple pie. (Yes, he has private apple pies!)

Seriously, I’m forced to make sounds that would terrify Bigfoot.

Yo. It’s a few minutes past 9 p.m. and I’ve had a rather restless evening so far. I’m still struggling with incessant burning pain from a stubborn UTI, although relief should be kicking in shortly because I finally started taking a new prescription today: Pyridium. It’s designed to work in tandem with an antibiotic to relieve some of the worst symptoms of a kidney infection, i.e., burning pain so fucking intense that I’m forced to make sounds that would terrify Bigfoot. Jesus!