At first I think I was hysterically excited by the fact that JustAnswer.com offered “live chat” assistance at 4:30 in the morning … and still didn’t get suspicious that I could buy an entire week of unlimited help for one stinking buckaroo. I didn’t have a problem with one buck … and signed up.
As it turned out, however, it took a long time (maybe 45 minutes) to get one of their “experts” to understand what I was agitated about, but eventually he did have one solid suggestion … open my blog using a different browser and see if it helps. So I did. I opened the Howdygram with Chrome rather than Safari, and from there I was able to open the link to create a new post. Plus, that’s when I also discovered a tiny — but UNBELIEVABLY important — checkbox near the bottom of the page: “REVERT TO LEGACY FORMAT.” I checked the box, returned to Safari, and everything was normal again! I was so fucking thrilled that I did a happy dance in my head, although I definitely wasn’t happy enough to keep my membership with JustAnswer.com, which would kick in at $50 a month on August 6 at the end of my $1 one-week trial. I immediately accessed the profile page and canceled my membership. Fifty bucks a month? NO FUCKING WAY!
Looking back, I’d completely forgotten that Blogspot had alerted its users, way back at the beginning of May, about a new blog format coming in late July … and that all of us would be able to opt out if we didn’t like it and revert to the old format.
The point is, thanks to JustAnswer’s suggestion: (1) I reverted; (2) I’m happy; and (3) I’m so damn relieved I could scream. I guess I’m too old, too stodgy, and too set in my ways to horse around with new technology any more. I can’t stand the stress and I already have more than enough on my plate right now!
Hey, people, before I forget … do you know what day this is? IT’S NATIONAL AVOCADO DAY, and I’ve designed the perfect graphic to help me with the announcement. Now’s the time to make yourself a bucket of guacamole, rip open a bag of tortilla chips and watch a good movie. Sam and I recommend Ben-Hur (1959) starring Charlton Heston and a lot of over-dressed Romans with good hats. Years ago I used to make a killer guacamole from scratch for Sam and me; these days, because I’m a bedridden geezer, Sam buys our guac from Costco. It’s actually pretty damn good.
AUGUST 1: BARBARA STANWYCK
Annie Oakley (1935)
Ball of Fire (1941) ★
AUGUST 2: ROCK HUDSON
Pillow Talk (1959) ★
Written on the Wind (1957)
AUGUST 3: RITA HAYWORTH
Susan and God (1940) ★
AUGUST 4: S. Z. “CUDDLES” SAKALL
Cynthia (1947) ★
In the Good Old Summertime (1949) ★
Christmas in Connecticut (1945) ★
AUGUST 5: ANN MILLER
Easter Parade (1948) ★
Kiss Me Kate (1953) ★
AUGUST 6: BURT LANCASTER
AUGUST 7: SYLVIA SIDNEY
AUGUST 8: CHARLIE CHAPLIN
AUGUST 9: GOLDIE HAWN
AUGUST 10: NORMA SHEARER
The Barretts of Wimpole Street (1934) ★
AUGUST 11: SAMMY DAVIS, JR.
AUGUST 12: LANA TURNER
Peyton Place (1957)
Bachelor in Paradise (1961) ★
AUGUST 13: JOHN BARRYMORE
Rasputin and the Empress (1932) ★
Night Flight (1933) ★
Grand Hotel (1932) ★
Dinner at Eight (1933) ★
Arsène Lupin (1932) ★
AUGUST 14: STEVE McQUEEN
AUGUST 15: NINA FOCH
Executive Suite (1954) ★
An American in Paris (1951)
AUGUST 16: CARY GRANT
Room for One More (1952)
To Catch a Thief (1955)
Charade (1963) ★
AUGUST 17: MAUREEN O'HARA
Miracle on 34th Street (1947) ★
Sitting Pretty (1948) ★
AUGUST 18: WARREN BEATTY
Reds (1981) ★
Splendor in the Grass (1961) ★
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Bugsy (1991)
AUGUST 19: DOLORES DEL RIO
AUGUST 20: WILLIAM POWELL
The Kennel Murder Case (1933) ★
The Thin Man (1934) ★
I Love You Again (1940) ★
Libeled Lady (1936) ★
Life with Father (1947) ★
Jewel Robbery (1932) ★
AUGUST 21: DIANA DORS
AUGUST 22: NATALIE WOOD
Gypsy (1962)
The Great Race (1965) ★
AUGUST 23: OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND
The Male Animal (1942)
Light in the Piazza (1962) ★
Captain Blood (1935) ★
Dodge City (1939) ★
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1939) ★
The Heiress (1949) ★
To Each His Own (1946) ★
Gone with the Wind (1939)
AUGUST 24: GEORGE RAFT
AUGUST 25: ANNE SHIRLEY
AUGUST 26: LAURENCE OLIVIER
AUGUST 27: CLAUDETTE COLBERT
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Egg and I (1947) ★
The Palm Beach Story (1942) ★
Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) ★
AUGUST 28: PAUL HENREID
Now, Voyager (1942) ★
Casablanca (1942) ★
AUGUST 29: EVA MARIE SAINT
North by Northwest (1959)
AUGUST 30: CHARLTON HESTON
Ben-Hur (1959) ★
Soylent Green (1973) ★
AUGUST 31: ALAIN DELON
Annie Oakley (1935)
Ball of Fire (1941) ★
AUGUST 2: ROCK HUDSON
Pillow Talk (1959) ★
Written on the Wind (1957)
AUGUST 3: RITA HAYWORTH
Susan and God (1940) ★
AUGUST 4: S. Z. “CUDDLES” SAKALL
Cynthia (1947) ★
In the Good Old Summertime (1949) ★
Christmas in Connecticut (1945) ★
AUGUST 5: ANN MILLER
Easter Parade (1948) ★
Kiss Me Kate (1953) ★
AUGUST 6: BURT LANCASTER
AUGUST 7: SYLVIA SIDNEY
AUGUST 8: CHARLIE CHAPLIN
AUGUST 9: GOLDIE HAWN
AUGUST 10: NORMA SHEARER
The Barretts of Wimpole Street (1934) ★
AUGUST 11: SAMMY DAVIS, JR.
AUGUST 12: LANA TURNER
Peyton Place (1957)
Bachelor in Paradise (1961) ★
AUGUST 13: JOHN BARRYMORE
Rasputin and the Empress (1932) ★
Night Flight (1933) ★
Grand Hotel (1932) ★
Dinner at Eight (1933) ★
Arsène Lupin (1932) ★
AUGUST 14: STEVE McQUEEN
AUGUST 15: NINA FOCH
Executive Suite (1954) ★
An American in Paris (1951)
AUGUST 16: CARY GRANT
Room for One More (1952)
To Catch a Thief (1955)
Charade (1963) ★
AUGUST 17: MAUREEN O'HARA
Miracle on 34th Street (1947) ★
Sitting Pretty (1948) ★
AUGUST 18: WARREN BEATTY
Reds (1981) ★
Splendor in the Grass (1961) ★
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Bugsy (1991)
AUGUST 19: DOLORES DEL RIO
AUGUST 20: WILLIAM POWELL
The Kennel Murder Case (1933) ★
The Thin Man (1934) ★
I Love You Again (1940) ★
Libeled Lady (1936) ★
Life with Father (1947) ★
Jewel Robbery (1932) ★
AUGUST 21: DIANA DORS
AUGUST 22: NATALIE WOOD
Gypsy (1962)
The Great Race (1965) ★
AUGUST 23: OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND
The Male Animal (1942)
Light in the Piazza (1962) ★
Captain Blood (1935) ★
Dodge City (1939) ★
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1939) ★
The Heiress (1949) ★
To Each His Own (1946) ★
Gone with the Wind (1939)
AUGUST 24: GEORGE RAFT
AUGUST 25: ANNE SHIRLEY
AUGUST 26: LAURENCE OLIVIER
AUGUST 27: CLAUDETTE COLBERT
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Egg and I (1947) ★
The Palm Beach Story (1942) ★
Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) ★
AUGUST 28: PAUL HENREID
Now, Voyager (1942) ★
Casablanca (1942) ★
AUGUST 29: EVA MARIE SAINT
North by Northwest (1959)
AUGUST 30: CHARLTON HESTON
Ben-Hur (1959) ★
Soylent Green (1973) ★
AUGUST 31: ALAIN DELON
I’d like to add a few comments about one of my favorites on this list. I think the best of them all has to be Rasputin and the Empress on August 13. This is the only film that all three Barrymores — John, Ethel and Lionel — ever made together, and it’s truly a doozy about the lunatic monk Rasputin (Lionel Barrymore), an alcoholic sex maniac who was weasling his way into the Russian royal family by hynotizing the czar’s son and turning him against his own mother (the empress, played by Ethel Barrymore). John Barrymore portrays Prince Paul Chegodieff, a high-ranking army officer who eventually figures out that Rasputin put a “spell” on the crown prince while he’s been raping women and blackmailing men in a grand plan to overthrow the government and install himself as czar.
Prince Paul decides to stop Rasputin by murdering him, and this turns out to be the most amazing sequence I’ve ever seen on film. Rasputin is shot, stabbed, beaten, clubbed on his head with an axe handle, poisoned with a tray of his favorite cupcakes, shoved into a firepit, blinded by acid and then dragged outside in sub-zero weather and drowned in an ice-covered pond. Absolutely fantastic … especially the CUPCAKES!
Incidentally, that TCM Summer Under the Stars movie list was definitely complex to type. I did the entire thing in HTML code because it required double indentation and all those teeny red stars in a color and point size (red, 13) that’s different from the regular subheads (black, 18). The sample below is a screen shot of Claudette Colbert’s listing on August 27. Snazzy, right?
HTML code is actually quite logical and satisfying (i.e., if you make the slightest mistake the entire hoo-hah COLLAPSES). I love it. If I didn’t have the Howdygram, I wouldn’t have an opportunity to code anything, and I’d be a very frustrated old coot. Oy!
At the moment it’s 2:17 a.m. … the wee hours of Tuesday morning. Thanks to a pair of 18-hour naps I have no idea whatsoever happened to Saturday or Sunday. But I do have some news to share with y’all. At some point yesterday I subscribed to the online edition of The Telegraph, which is Great Britain’s most popular daily newspaper. What a delightful, refreshing change to read well-written and carefully-edited news that’s NOT wall-to-wall horseshit about Donald and Melanoma Trump with screen shots of the Orangutan’s fucking tweets, lots of interesting Royal Family updates (you know how much I love my wacky royals!) and insightful information about Europe. This only costs about $1.50 a week, and I think it’s well worth it. I signed up for a couple of The Telegraph’s free weekly newsletters in addition to the daily newspaper.
About a year ago I also subscribed to the Chicago Tribune’s online edition so I can keep up with what’s going on “back home.” Nearly all of my immediate relatives live in Chicago and/or the suburbs, plus the Trib has some excellent columnists.
However, I would never EVER in a million years waste my money on the Dallas Morning News, because it’s seriously over-priced with nothing but cover-to-cover spelling errors and horseshit “news” — 365 days a year! — about the Dallas Cowboys, “Jerruh” Jones, high school sports and barbecue reviews. (I have virtually no interest in any of that.) If I want to know what’s going on in Dallas one of our local TV stations (WFAA) has its own website with more than enough information. Fuck the Dallas Morning News.
P. F. Chang’s meals and entrées are perfect for senior citizens because they’re cheaper than going out to eat, they’re faster than delivery (you don’t have to tip anybody!) and VERY easy to fix. Most are frozen and heat in the microwave. The Kung Pao Cauliflower, however, is slightly different … you bake the cauliflower on a cookie sheet and then toss them in an included pouch of Kung Pao sauce that defrosts under warm tap water. (Sam is our official chef; if he can handle all this, it’s got to be simple!)
The Howdygram is pleased to award P. F. CHANG’S KUNG PAO CAULIFLOWER with our coveted five-chopper rating, and we know you’ll love it as much as we do. Make room in your freezer for more than one box. I always order two at a time from Amazon Fresh.
I think this is more than enough for now! Thank you for reading this and please turn out the light when you’re done here.
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