The Howdygram 2: I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stand the pain from this goddamn urinary tract infection.

THURSDAY, 12/27/2018, 9:59 A.M. Happy Thursday morning from Howdygram headquarters. Sam is on his way to Costco for our usual weekly haul of amazing food, including: 1) teriyaki meatballs; 2) a tub of chicken salad with pecans and cranberries; 3) maybe cheese; 4) breakfast burritos; 5) ground coffee; and 6) a couple of essential OTC pharmacy-aisle items. He should be home within the hour, at which time we’ll take up a subject of critical importance … an early lunch.

I’ve been a busy bee again, boys and girls! This time I’ve been designing new throw pillows and lumbar pillows for The Howdygram Store on Zazzle’s marketplace. Here are a few examples for your possible interest. The first four pictured here are 20" square; the snowflakes (white on charcoal gray) and the two floral prints (silver and crimson on charcoal, white on teal) are available in a variety of cool colors.

And here are a few more. “Fleece Navidad” is from my Christmas collection (there are three others); the two monogrammed lumbar pillows — measuring 13" x 21" each — are available in a whole pile of gorgeous designer colors. Don’t you love that buffalo plaid?!

Placing food orders with Wal-Mart’s new grocery pick-up service really opened up a whole new world for me. Because I’m a bedridden coot who hasn’t set foot in a supermarket for at least eight years, now I can shop “virtually” up and down every aisle in a Wal-Mart superstore! Woo-hoo! And I’m constantly discovering new (to me, anyhow) products to try or rediscovering products I used to enjoy but haven’t had for years and years. And here are two that fall into those categories: Totinto’s Party Pizza and Maruchan Instant Lunch, respectively.

These have to be the cheapest meals of all time. Priced at $1.06, Totino’s Party Pizza is a generous (6" x 10") thin-crust pizza slab that’s almost too much food for one person. Plus, the packaging photo is actually an accurate representation of the cooked product! So far I’ve tried two varieties: Supreme and Three-Meat. Both are really good. And I’m very glad I rediscovered Maruchan Instant Lunch. Their Hot & Spicy Shrimp flavor (32¢) is outstanding, and the price drops to 28¢ each when you buy a package of six. TWENTY-EIGHT CENTS FOR SOUP!

Both of these cheap-o meals satisfy an old lady’s craving for pizza and Asian food — go ahead and guess which is which, okay? — without ordering in, and because they’re also so tasty they’ve earned the Howdygram’s coveted five-chopper rating. Thank you for putting up with me.

FRIDAY, 12/28/2018, 4:46 P.M. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stand the pain from this goddamn urinary tract infection. My hospice medical care team has basically turned their collective backs on me, refusing to do a urine culture (to diagnose which bacteria is causing the problem) or to provide any additional antibiotics to treat an infection they think I’m imagining. Instead, the hospice administrator told me to “go the E.R.” and try an over-the-counter medication called Azo. Both responses are absolutely ludicrous … and here’s why.

First of all, Sam and I bought an at-home UTI dipstick test kit yesterday, which indicated that I’m 100% positive for two different kinds of infection. Second, although Azo actually works (it’s designed to treat the the burning pain from a UTI) … why the hell didn’t anybody suggest this sooner? I’ve been suffering with severe burning pain. and complaining about it to my hospice R.N., for MONTHS! However, Azo doesn’t cure a UTI and only worked for a few hours. I’m already having those burning spasms again.

On January 2 Sam and I have a conference call set up with the hospice administrators, the hospice M.D. and our regular nurse to discuss our disappointment, dissatisfaction and general discontent with their medical care during the last couple of months. In the meantime they’ve also stopped refilling my pain medication in addition to refusing a simple urine culture to diagnose the stubborn bacteria that’s causing my UTI. This is unconscionable, and Sam is ready to rip them a new one. (An untreated infection for a senior citizen with a poor immune system, such as yours truly, could prove dangerous and result in septic shock.)

Bottom line … if we don’t get the answers we want, we’re ready to hire a different hospice organization. And immediately.

Thank you for reading this. Have a pleasant Saturday night and very happy New Year!