Monday, December 3, 2018

Captain Parmenter died on Saturday.

Happy Sunday night from Texas. y’all. I’ve had a mostly-abyssmal day that included: 1) relentless burning pain from the world’s shittiest urinary tract infection; 2) a panic attack; 3) getting very sweaty for no reason; and 4) not enough to eat even though Sam let me have a slice of his private apple pie. (Yes, he has private apple pies!)

But before I forget … a holiday wish from Sam and yours truly. May your Hanukkah be filled with plenty of latkes, abundant cookies and many successful candles. Live and be well, okay?




Veteran comic actor Ken Berry, who starred in that unforgettable hit TV series “F-Troop,” died Saturday at the age of 85. No kidding, “F-Troop” was one of my favorite shows. It aired from 1965 to 1967 and was set out west at a U.S. cavalry fort in the 1870s. Ken Berry played Captain Parmenter, Larry Storch was Corporal Agarn, and Forest Tucker was Sergeant O’Rourke.

He is survived by Corporal Agarn. I don’t know anything about all the Jewish borscht belt comics who played the Hakawi Indians.

In addition to “F-Troop,” Berry also appeared on “Dr. Kildare” and then as the widowed farmer Sam Jones on “The Andy Griffith Show” and its spinoff, “Mayberry, RFD.” He also appeared in stage productions all over the United States, mostly in musicals like “George M!” as well as cameos on TV shows like “The Brady Bunch,” “CHiPs” and “The Golden Girls.” (Jesus Christ. What a resume.)

Just for fun I thought I’d include a video clip of the theme song from “F-Troop.” Do you remember all the words? (I do!) Enjoy ...




A few more FREE FONTS! Today I’ve got one nice script with tons of adorable swashy things and alternate letters, and two very cool layering fonts … “Papercute” and “Lucky Fortune.” (I’m especially wild about of “Papercute.”) As always, download links will appear after the graphic. You’re welcome.




I need a show of hands and maybe a a couple of comments if you have a minute. Have you ever despised an electronic device? I’m having an issue right now with my Apple “magic keyboard,” which is a much smaller version of Apple’s standard Mac corded keyboard … minus the calculator keypad on the right side (which I loved, and used) and also only one delete key.

The magic keyboard is wireless, weighs less than a Popsicle stick, and you have to plug it in (like an iPhone) when the battery runs down. The problem is, the the overall design of the magic keyboard is squished, and the everything is so fucking close together than I have trouble keeping my hands on the “home” keys! (Remember your seventh grade typing class?) And some of the keys are even in different locations, all of which make typing an unpleasant and challenging experience. Also, I’ve got the magic keyboard propped up on a slab of foam rubber on top of my MacBook lap desk because I’m confined to a hospital bed and can’t sit fully upright like a normal person and use a desk. My hands feel awkward on this keyboard. Typing was always fun for me — and undeniably fast and accurate — but not any more. Shit. Shit. Shit.



It’s a bright new day now, and I’m about 15 minutes away from my Monday morning bathing and powdering hoo-hah. (The hospice sends a C.N.A. three times a week.) And we’re also expecting my nurse, Stella, who usually tries to show up around 11 …  just as Leticia is finishing and ready to leave.  Therefore … seems like a fine time to wrap things up here and publish my post!

Thank you for reading this. I have nothing whatsoever to say about the Alamo and refuse to remember it. Period.

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