Warmest Halloween greetings to you and yours. Thank you … and adiós!

Surprise, surprise! My monthly catheter change was rescheduled for yesterday at 10:30 a.m. rather than today (Thursday). I was a little nervous about this because I’ve been struggling with more (very severe) burning bladder spasms, and didn’t think I’d be able to tolerate any medical procedures in and around my urethra. I was right, too. The catheter change hurt like hell. But there was one “plus” … at least Martha was able to insert the new catheter on her first attempt. Finally! (The last two monthly events were nightmares.) Also in attendance today were Leticia, my hospice C.N.A., who provided a bathing and hygiene session before the catheter festivities got underway, and Sam.

Nobody likes stingy pot roast.

I can’t figure out what else to do for entertainment right now so I guess I’ll get started on another Howdygram post. It’s a few minutes past midnight on Sunday morning, Sam is in bed, and I don’t feel like watching a movie, reading the national news, designing greeting cards for The Howdygram Store, answering email or staring at the fireplace … which happens to be the only available view from my hospital bed in the family room. I suppose I should warn you that I’m recovering from another miserable bedpan ordeal (don’t ask) and I’m not really feeling particularly upbeat or cheerful. Deal with it. I promise to do my best not to drag you down or irritate you, okay?

I need a Xanax, an anti-nausea pill and a meal replacement shake.

Hey. Happy Thursday, everybody. We’re expecting colder temperatures today and a shitload of RAIN — up to three inches! — which is actually pretty good news, as we’ve been stuck in a drought for the last six months and three inches of rain will fill up the reservoirs. In case you’re interested, although I can’t imagine why you would be, our reservoir is lovely Lake Ray Hubbard in nearby Rockwall, a source of summertime entertainment for boating enthusiasts and local water-starved Texans. The following map indicates: A) the Lake Ray Hubbard Reservoir; B) Howdygram headquarters, which is about four miles east of the lake; C) our closest Wal-Mart superstore; and D) China City, where Sam always buys my favorite hot and sour soup to-go.

I have artwork completed for more than 50 new greeting card designs.

Happy, happy Tuesday night, y’all. It’s 11:45 p.m. here at Howdygram headquarters, and Sam is moisturizing our leather sofa. (Seriously.) This is something you need to do from time to time if you want to prevent good leather from drying out and looking like crap. He decided to moisturize late at night so he can go straight to bed afterwards and not worry about sitting on a greasy sofa.

We survived our wild and stormy night, as evidenced by the fact that I’m still typing.

SUNDAY, 10/20/2019, 11:10 P.M. Hey. Thought I’d start a quick post tonight so you’ll know that Sam and I are all right. A couple of hours ago there was a SUBSTANTIAL TORNADO here in the Dallas metro area! The twister developed at Love Field (the smaller of Dallas’ two airports) and traveled for 17 miles east and slightly north, heading straight for Mesquite … the location of Howdygram headquarters. According to a news report on NBC.com, there’s been a lot of structural damage to commercial and residental buildings, downed electrical lines, injuries from flying debris and broken glass, and a large area of the city is currently without power

A senior citizen food review and fabulous free fonts valued at $710.

Good morning, boys and girls. It’s a few minutes south of 2 a.m., Sam is in bed, and I’m enjoying a little quiet time with the Howdygram and iced tea. My sleep schedule has been a little whacked-out this week so I’m hoping I’ll be able to conk out for a few hours before sun-up. We’re expecting lots of commotion around here today, for instance: 1) a 10 a.m. visit from our maid; 2) my hospice C.N.A., Beauty, at 1 p.m. for a bathing and hygiene session; and 3) Sharon, my hospice L.V.N., for a routine checkup between 1 and 2 p.m.

Please hold a good thought for Sam. I think he’s getting sick.

Hi-de-ho, everybody. It’s 9:25 p.m. Wednesday night — the shank of evening! — but Sam is already in bed. How come? He doesn’t feel well! He was sniffling and coughing today and said he felt unusually tired, so about half an hour ago he decided to toddle off to bed for some uninterrupted sleep. I’m fine out here in the family room. I’ve got a big glass of pink lemonade and a burst of creative energy to work on the Howdygram. All’s well, but please hold a good thought for Sam. I don’t want my caregiver to get sick!

Introducing The Applesauce Diaries.

SUNDAY, 2:59 A.M., 10/13/2019. Good morning, y’all. I’m trying to wind down after the night from hell. Indigestion again! My stomach started churning last night around 7:30 but none of the usual remedies worked for me. These included all of the following …

I’ll bet you didn’t know that I’m psychic.

Here’s something different … I’m feeling creative and prolific right now but can’t quite pin down the best way to express myself. Here are my options: 1) design a few new greeting cards; 2) write a newsy Howdygram post; 3) get busy creating new holiday products for The Howdygram Store, such as decorative pillows, coasters and fleece throws.

There’s nothing worse than a semi-successful bedpan experience.

So far I’m not having a very good day. This time it’s been a never-ending problem with digestion, because food no longer has any flavor whatsoever and that makes it difficult to prevent starving to death. For the last several days I’ve only eaten applesauce, hot and sour soup from China City and an occasional chocolate meal replacement shake from Glucerna for elderly diabetics. I’m not happy at all. Sam is being sweet, entertaining, attentive and incredible, and I’m lying here in bed feeling like crapola. (And I’m hungry.)

I’m ready for another round of Mott’s applesauce.

Greetings, friends. It’s 9:30 Friday night and I just realized I’ve been asleep almost nonstop since I first opened my eyes this morning at 3 a.m.

The State Fair of Texas sells everything from vibrators to insulated windows.

Tuesday was a rough day for me, and today hasn’t been much better. It’s my miserable stomach again. After trying all day yesterday to eat one or two stinkin’ bites of food, the only success I had was a strawberry Glucerna meal replacement shake for elderly diabetics, one and a half string beans and a cup of applesauce. Fortunately, at dinnertime my adorable Sam volunteered to bring me a large order of live-saving hot and sour soup from China City … AND I ACTUALLY ATE THE WHOLE THING. Better yet, he said he’d be glad to buy hot and sour soup for me every day if I want him to … and I might have to take him up on that because almost nothing else sounds (or tastes) appealing any more.