Warmest Halloween greetings to you and yours. Thank you … and adiós!

Surprise, surprise! My monthly catheter change was rescheduled for yesterday at 10:30 a.m. rather than today (Thursday). I was a little nervous about this because I’ve been struggling with more (very severe) burning bladder spasms, and didn’t think I’d be able to tolerate any medical procedures in and around my urethra. I was right, too. The catheter change hurt like hell. But there was one “plus” … at least Martha was able to insert the new catheter on her first attempt. Finally! (The last two monthly events were nightmares.) Also in attendance today were Leticia, my hospice C.N.A., who provided a bathing and hygiene session before the catheter festivities got underway, and Sam.

Other Wednesday traffic at Howdygram headquarters included our maid at 3 p.m., but I’ll have to take Sam’s word for that. Apparently I fell asleep as soon as Martha and Leticia left this morning and didn’t wake up until 7 p.m.

Jesus. Wednesday was definitely a huge fucking hoo-hah around here.

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Hey, everybody, before I forget …

No, in case you’re wondering, Sam and I do NOT celebrate Halloween. We don’t dress up in costume, we don’t wear masks, we don’t hang decorations on my hospital bed, we don’t carve pumpkins and we don’t answer the front door to distribute Milk Duds to the neighborhoods’ offspring. Our only participation involves turning off the outdoor lights and hiding in the family room so nobody knows we’re home. And so, HAPPY HALLOWEEN from Sam and me. Now get the hell out of here and leave us alone to stew in my burning bladder spasms, okay? Thank you … and adiós!

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Nice group of fonts today, right? Today the only script is one of the styles included with “Dog Days,” which I happen to like very much because it includes a huge number of alternate characters and swashy things. I’ve also got a Halloween-themed font (“Stranger Creature”), a bundle of hand-drawn fonts (“Evening Type,” “Evening Type Shadow,” “Mono Line 02”), display fonts (“Gotcha Boom”), fun fonts “Bouncy,” “Rabbito,” “Raeberry”) and TWO very cool layered fonts (“Priman,” “Rockidz”).

Download links will appear below the list. Enjoy.

Dog Days • Stranger Creature • Gotcha Boom • Bouncy

Space Badge Bundle • Priman • Rockidz • Rabbito • Raeberry

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I had some fun yesterday on one of my favorite websites for free vector graphic assets, Vecteezy.com, where I snagged about 35 very cool images in Adobe Illustrator (AI) format. All of them will eventually be very cool backgrounds for greeting cards in The Howdygram Store. Six samples appear below.

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In my Howdygram post a few days ago I listed a bunch of new frozen meals I ordered from Wal-Mart in an effort to perk up my miserable taste buds, and now I’m in the process of reviewing them one-by-one for your possible interest.

Next up … STREATERY MEMPHIS-STYLE STUFFED BBQ PORK BISCUITS, which looked totally amazing on the box but turned out to be tiny little rock-hard hockey pucks filled with colorful, nasty-tasting puke. They were inedible. The “biscuit” was so crunchy I couldn’t bite it or chew it, and the filling was downright DISGUSTING. I couldn’t discern a predominant flavor profile — tomatoey? spicy? sweet? sour? salty? peppery? pickled gym socks? hello? — so the whole box wound up in the garbage, where it belonged.

STREATERY MEMPHIS-STYLE STUFFED BBQ PORK BISCUITS has earned a one-chopper rating. The product stinks but the concept is intriguing. (A “stuffed biscuit” sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it?)

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I think I’ll try to grab a quick nap before Sam gets home. Thank you for reading this, and warmest Halloween greetings to you and yours. Please turn out the lights when you’re done here, okay?