A senior citizen food review and fabulous free fonts valued at $710.

Good morning, boys and girls. It’s a few minutes south of 2 a.m., Sam is in bed, and I’m enjoying a little quiet time with the Howdygram and iced tea. My sleep schedule has been a little whacked-out this week so I’m hoping I’ll be able to conk out for a few hours before sun-up. We’re expecting lots of commotion around here today, for instance: 1) a 10 a.m. visit from our maid; 2) my hospice C.N.A., Beauty, at 1 p.m. for a bathing and hygiene session; and 3) Sharon, my hospice L.V.N., for a routine checkup between 1 and 2 p.m.

Try not to be jealous. Thank you.

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Flash! Yesterday I had no digestive difficulties whatsoever, thank God, and my taste buds are beginning to make a comeback. Unfortunately, however, I also had ZERO APPETITE, so my meals were uninteresting, pathetic and didn’t include enough food to keep a gnat alive. For example, dinner was a 2 oz. package of Buddig chicken lunch meat with a Wal-Mart store brand strawberry yogurt cup, as illustrated below. Not pictured: essential plastic cutlery.

I’m not particularly hungry today, either, but things may be looking up. Sam will pick up a Wal-Mart grocery order around noon that includes a lot of our favorites PLUS the two new products illustrated below.

I adore Asian food and know from experience that anything with the Great Value label — Wal-Mart’s store brand — will be EXCELLENT. In case you’re interested, the rest of our order includes the following:

• Deli potato salad
• Great Value Lowfat Yogurt (blueberry, cherry, banana cream and peach)
• Chobani Nonfat Greek Yogurt (raspberry)
• Isadora Refried Reans in a convenient microwaveable pouch
• Hormel Compleats Chili with Beans
• Great Value Diet Sweet Brewed Iced Tea, two one-gallon jugs
• Hershey Sugar-Free Milk Chocolate Mini-Bars
• Hershey Sugar-Free Dark Chocolate Mini-Bars
• Kozy Shack Sugar-Free Tapioca Pudding
• Great Value Extra Noodle Chicken Soup Mix
• Campbell’s Condensed Bean with Bacon soup
• Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli
• Great Value Premium Skinless and Boneless Pink Salmon, two pouches
• Great Value Dark Red Kidney Beans
• Great Value Sliced Carrots (canned)
• Eckrich Deli Sliced Pickle & Pimiento Loaf

I can’t believe that my Eckrich Pickle & Pimiento Loaf is finally back in stock today. Woo-hoo! My favorite snack!

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This is such an exciting herd of free fonts I think I might explode. I’ve got a little of everything for you today … scripts (“Kangchen,” Chindy”), bold display faces (“Febrotesk,” “Wood Heinz No. 4,” “Middle Ages”), elegant classics (“Radcliffe,” “Decoupe,” “Gambero”) and hand-drawn fonts (“Blade”).

Download links will appear under the font list. Enjoy ...

Kangchen • Febrotesk • Blade • Radcliffe Family • Decoupe Family
Gambero Family • Wood Heinz No. 4 • Middle Ages • Chindy

Every once in a while I like to remind my readers that the free fonts I share here aren’t actually free at all. I download them at no charge from a strange website in southeast Asia, but I’m pretty sure there’s some underhanded shenanigans — i.e., pirating — going on. Most of these fonts are worth a ton of money! For example, MyFonts.com sells “Radcliffe” (a package of 26 styles!) for $179, “Decoupe” (18 styles) for $149, “Gambero” (18 styles) for $120, “Wood Heinz No. 4” (two styles) for $88, “Middle Ages” (two styles) for $59, and “Febrotesk” (two styles) for $25. The remaining three fonts are available from Creative Market. “Blade” sells for $30, “Kangchen” for $50, and “Chindy” for $10. Add them all up and the total value of today’s amazing freebies is a whopping $710.

Holy shit. That’s a lot of dough!

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I’m so damn excited about this store-brand frozen entrée from Wal-Mart that I decided to eat it for lunch today and write a review the Howdygram. Oh my God, people … it’s absolutely FANTASTIC. STEAK BULGOGI & UDON NOODLES is easy to make in the microwave … about five minutes altogether, with separate pouches for the noodles and sauce.

This is definitely a restaurant-quality product, thanks mostly to the spicy sauce — tender little slices of beef, red bell pepper, edamame, chili paste — and all the complex flavors. There’s enough for two people or one person with a ridiculous appetite. I ate half for lunch and Sam wrapped up the rest for tomorrow.

Wal-Mart’s Steak Bulgogi & Udon Noodles is a quick and easy microwave meal for senior citizens who can’t stand up any more to cook things, and I’m excited to award this product with our coveted five-chopper rating.

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Thank you for reading this. I need a nap now.