Mazel tov, people. Today is September 23 and a GIGANTIC MILESTONE on the Howdygram’s calendar. It’s officially the first day of autumn, two days before Rosh Hashanah, one week until we go to the Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma for the senior citizen buffet and only 38 days left until my birthday. THIS IS SO DAMN EXCITING A PERSON COULD EXPLODE ALREADY.
In case you’re wondering, Sam will be off work for a whole week starting September 29 and our first order of business is a trip to the Choctaw Casino, one of our favorite places to go that isn’t in Texas. The Choctaw is huge, friendly, spotlessly clean and caters to mostly to old people, who arrive
en masse with their canes, rollators, walkers, caregivers and mobility scooters. Sam and I especially love the great big buffet, which is just $7.99 for seniors and includes the world’s best pea salad and sugar-free pie plus all-you-can-eat tartar sauce and meatballs. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THOSE MEATBALLS.
I have a Putz of the Week for y’all today! Once again it’s Governor Rick “Hairdo” Perry, the demented Texas douchebag who announced last weekend on national TV that Joan Rivers would still be alive if the clinic that performed her botched endoscopy in New York had been held to the same stringent standards required by his controversial abortion law — the one thrown out this month by a federal judge for being unconstitutional, completely unnecessary and a ridiculous pain in the ass for Texas women.
First, let me say simply that RICK PERRY IS A LYING SACK OF CRAP. If he’s so concerned about “protecting women” he’d stop tormenting Planned Parenthood, reopen our women’s health centers and expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. Governor Hairdo is just like the rest of GOP’s old white men. “Small government” applies to everything except women’s reproductive rights because they’re all a bunch of deranged FETUS FANATICS who can’t stand that women want birth control and access to a safe and legal medical procedure.
Also, since Governor Perry thinks abortion facilities should be held to the same standards as full-service hospitals — with doctor admitting privileges and restrictive building codes — why not include ALL out-patient clinics that administer anesthesia? The answer to that one is EASY. Perry doesn’t harass oral surgeons, endodontists, colonoscopy centers and opthalmologists because he isn’t interested in molars, buttholes or eyeballs; he’s obsessed with “sluts” who want birth control and “loose women” trying to end their pregnancies ...
even if she’s a victim of rape or incest.
This is a really urgent appeal from the Howdygram: PLEASE ELECT DEMOCRATS IN NOVEMBER because the women of America don’t deserve to be bullied back into the 19th century. Thank you.
Holy crap. It’s almost 4 a.m. and I’m still wide awake, so I guess it’s one of those sleepless nights and I should just get over it and maybe read a book. Right now I’m halfway through
Notes from the Underwire, an adorable collection of autobiographical stories by Quinn Cummings. You can
buy it on Amazon really cheap. I got mine used for about three bucks with free shipping. (Doesn’t really get much cheaper than that, does it?)
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