L’shanah tovah from Marcy and Sam.

Rosh Hashanah — year 5775 on the Hebrew calendar — kicked off about 45 minutes ago when the sun went down, so this would be a perfect opportunity to wish y’all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR if you’re Jewish like we are! Sam and I aren’t observant, although we cling to the really important traditions like gefilte fish and yahrzeit candles.

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Before I forget I’d like to offer an in-depth review of a thrilling new product I ordered a couple of weeks ago from Pleasant Hill Grain, a web store that sells all kinds of quick and tasty canned meat for senior citizens who don’t cook any more due to mobility issues. The subject of this review, however, isn’t their canned ground beef or turkey ... it’s Pleasant Hill Grain’s amazing canned cheese from Australia. Holy crap, people, this stuff is SO DAMN WONDERFUL.

Each can is a half-pound mini-wheel of white cheddar for $4.39 that you unmold by opening both ends and pushing the cheese out onto a plate, at which time you’ll quickly discover that your canned cheddar from Australia isn’t rubbery like Velveeta or a radial tire; it’s GENUINE SOLID CHEESE that you can slice, cube and shred. As a matter of fact, the flavor and texture actually remind me of expensive Havarti ... and I’ve enjoyed a lot of expensive Havarti in my lifetime.

I think you should order some canned cheese immediately and enjoy it — like I do — with low-carb rye bread, a dish of pickles and a Myrna Loy movie.

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I need to eat something now. Thank you for putting up with me.