Congratulations, Florida. You’ve finally upstaged Texas.

Hi, people. I have a variety of fascinating topics for today’s Howdygram post but I don’t know yet if I’ll get to all of them or not. I guess it depends on two things: 1) what time I want to eat dinner because it’s already 8:45 and nobody’s getting any younger here; and 2) if I become too involved with the bag of Russell Stover sugar-free chocolate-covered peanuts that Sam just deposited on my desk. It’s always something, isn’t it?

To begin, the Howdygram has a novel new Putz of the Week for you today. This time it’s THE ENTIRE REPUBLICAN MEMBERSHIP OF THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, who — after a year of doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING — decided to screw over the American people (once again) by canceling all of their remaining votes and skipping town until after the November election. At full pay, of course.

Rep. Steve Israel, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, responded by firing off some sharp criticism at his Republic colleagues: “House Republicans are now abandoning any pretense of doing actual work for the American people, skipping town one day after doing the bare minimum required to keep the government functioning but blocking any progress for the middle class. House Republicans have proved yet again that they’re only interested in doing their jobs long enough to stack the deck for special interests and launch political stunts. Democrats are committed to jumpstarting our middle class, not setting the government on autopilot and then heading for vacation.”

America needs a Congress that will show up for work. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IN NOVEMBER AND VOTE FOR A DEMOCRAT. Thank you.

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I’ve got an Einstein Award today, too! We’re recognizing the Orange County (Florida) Sheriff’s Office, which has been harshly rebuked by the U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals for staging a SWAT-style raid in full battle gear — with FACE MASKS, GUNS DRAWN, BULLET-PROOF VESTS and AN ARMORED CAR — to check for valid barber licenses at the Strictly Skillz barber shop in Fort Lauderdale.

The appeals court ruled that inspections “must be appropriately limited” and “may not serve as a backdoor for undertaking a warrantless search unsupported by probable cause.” The ruling allows a suit filed by the barbershop’s owners for civil rights violations to go forward against the sheriff’s office, whose outrageous SWAT maneuver resembled a Hollywood movie, scared the living crap out of everybody and forced customers into the street on a busy weekend back in 2010.

The upshot? Every barber produced a valid license, which had actually been confirmed three days prior to the raid after a routine walk-in inspection by one person from Department of Business and Professional Regulation. Holy shit.

Congratulations, Florida. You’ve finally upstaged Texas.