Sam is my full-time caregiver, and he deserves as many Dairy Queen blizzards as he can get.

Woo-hoo … Sam and I are trying SOMETHING NEW today! Instead of waiting until late afternoon (around 5 p.m.) for me to get up off the chaise and use my computer, I’m giving it a shot around 10 a.m. instead … which is the time I used to migrate into the study in years past. It was Sam who suggested this, actually, because he has more energy in the morning to shlep things around in the family room, crawl on the floor to relocate my catheter bag and scoot under the desk to plug in my computer and lamp. It’s definitely a lot of work. He’s my full-time caregiver and he deserves as many breaks — and Dairy Queen blizzards! — as he can get.

It’s 4 p.m. as I write this post, and I’m delighted to announce that today’s first “morning shift” was a complete success. We hauled me from the chaise to the bench around 10:30 a.m., right after the hospice C.N.A. bathed me. Unfortunately, even though we’re dusting nearly 50% of my body with overpriced Nystatin powder I’ve still got a major problem with that disgusting bleeding rash that’s been plaguing me for the last five fucking years. I itch, I scratch and I bleed. IT NEVER ENDS!

---

Know what? I’ve got MORE FREE FONTS for you! I think today’s batch is really unusual, with a foursome of completely different script styles and a delicious a comic strip font that I can’t wait to use. I’ll include download links below the graphic in case you want a few or more of these for your personal collection.

Viktor Duo • Plumcake • America • Breakfast Pastry • Comic Caps

Festa • Notera 2 Script • Stantic Script

---

My journey into WEIRD FLAVOR CRAVINGS took another wild leap today, this time with a can of Read German Potato Salad. I hadn’t eaten German potato salad for at least 25 years, so when I saw Read’s canned potato salad on Wal-Mart’s website I decided to buy a couple of cans.

If you’ve never tried German potato salad — Read’s or anybody else’s — it’s the dressing that usually flips a person out, plus the fact that German potato salad is typically eaten warm. So here’s what’s in the dressing. Crumbled bacon (and bacon drippings), onion, white vinegar, sugar, salt and black pepper. After you cook the bacon you have to crumble it, return it to the pan, add the rest of the dressing ingredients and simmer until you get a nice gooey sauce that you toss over cooked potatoes. I love this stuff, just like I’ve always loved that vinegar/sugar combination in other recipes, such as three-bean salad or marinated cucumbers.

Here’s something quirky and very stupid. I ordered Read’s German potato salad from Wal-Mart’s website a few days ago but you have to buy Read’s 3-Bean Salad in the store because it’s not available online. WTF! So I’ll have to send Sam to our local Wal-Mart market for that. Most likely tomorrow.

---

For those of you old enough — like me — to remember dialing the number for “time” on the telephone ... The time at the tone will be 11:28 p.m. and 45 seconds. BEEP!

Sam is presently unconscious on the sofa and I’m watching Sergeant York (1941) starring Gary Cooper, Joan Leslie and Walter Brennan’s eyebrows.

Gary Cooper, Joan Leslie and Walter Brennan’s eyebrows star in “Sergeant York.”

---

Maybe I’d better shut down for the night, because I have to take my bedtime meds, inject insulin, turn up the “power” on my oxygen generator and ask Sam for my late-night Popsicles. I’m addicted. I request pairs of Popsicles all day long! (My favorite flavors are Tropical Punch and Pineapple. In the 1950s I was addicted to Root Beer and Blue Raspberry.)

Thank you for reading this. If you plan to remember the Alamo kindly do it on your own time, okay? I already have enough to do and Sam isn’t interested.