Friday, June 15, 2018

Lock him up! Paul Manafort goes to jail.

Happy Friday, boys and girls! It’s not quite 7 a.m. and I’m wide awake on my chaise in the family room, typing like a bat out of hell and sipping a sugar-free Clear American black cherry soda. (I love this stuff.) Sam just departed for his morning walk and will probably be gone about two hours. (He always walks before the day starts to “heat up.” The high today will be 94°.)



The Howdygram is pleased to provide the following information about fizzy beverages that could kill you. Three of the highest-ranked murderous sodas are pictured below … along with details about their ingredients and other critical shit you need to know. If you drink any of these beverages regularly, STOP IT IMMEDIATELY.


Fanta Grape. Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Natural Flavors, Tartaric Acid, Potassium Sorbate and Sodium Benzoate (to Protect Taste), Citric Acid, Red 40, Blue 1.

Liquefy a bag of Skittles and you’d still have to add 6 grams of sugar to equal the sweetness of this can of corn syrup, citric acid and artificial colors. In fact, that bag of Skittles has the exact same ingredients, including Red 40, which Canadian researchers found to be contaminated with known carcinogens. Even without its disturbing origin story — the Coca-Cola company created Fanta to profit in Germany when Nazis outlawed the importation of USA-made Coke — this would still be the absolute WORST SODA IN AMERICA.

Mountain Dew. Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Concentrated Orange Juice, Citric Acid, Natural Flavor, Sodium Benzoate (Preserves Freshness), Caffeine, Sodium Citrate, Erythorbic Acid (Preserves Freshness), Gum Arabic, Calcium Disodium EDTA (To Protect Flavor), Brominated Vegetable Oil, Yellow 5

There’s FLAME RETARDANT in your Mountain Dew! That soda with the bright green hue won’t keep your insides fireproof, but it does contain brominated vegetable oil, a patented flame retardant for plastics that has been banned in foods throughout Europe and in Japan. Brominated vegetable oil, or BVO, which acts as an emulsifier in citrus-flavored soda drinks, is found in about 10 percent of sodas sold in the U.S. After a few extreme binges you might need medical attention for skin lesions, memory loss and nerve disorders ... all symptoms of overexposure to bromine!

Sunkist Orange. Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Sodium Benzoate (preservative), Modified Corn Starch, Natural Flavors, Caffeine, Ester Gum, Yellow 5, Red 40

What do you get when you combine carbonated water with High Fructose Corn Syrup and a host of unpronounceable chemicals? Sunkist Orange! It gets its alluring color from Yellow 5 and Red 40. A Journal of Pediatrics study linked Yellow 5 to childhood hyperactivity, and Canadian researchers found Red 40 to be contaminated with known carcinogens.

IF YOU’RE STILL THIRSTY … you should try Clear American carbonated water beverages … incredible fruit flavors with no sugar, no sodium, no chemicals, NO NOTHING. We buy them in 32 oz. bottles at Wal-Mart and always have about nine flavors in stock here at Howdygram headquarters. My favorites are Golden Peach, Fuji Apple and Mandarin Orange. Thank you.

Sam and I almost had a major meltdown a few minutes ago when my Baylor HouseCalls PCP dropped in at noon for my monthly checkup. I hadn’t seen Antonia since before I was hospitalized on May 24, and she wasn’t aware that I was discharged under the care of a hospice two days later … catheterized. After we got caught up she told me that Baylor HouseCalls can’t continue to see me while I’m covered by a hospice (it has something to do with Medicare reimbursement), so this would probably be the last time she sees me. And that’s when the major meltdown sunk in. I told Antonia that hospice won’t cover my insulin prescriptions because that’s not part of their program (hospices focus on patient comfort ... insulin isn’t covered), so what am I supposed to do? I can’t live without insulin. But if I have to give up hospice care in order to get my insulin prescriptions, I’d lose home catheterization, C.N.A. care three times a week, and that blessed five-day annual caregiver “respite” for Sam! So … Sam called the hospice director (Bea), and she told him the hospice would cover my insulin prescriptions if I can’t get them anywhere else. PROBLEM SOLVED. It was such a relief we both felt like crying!

And so … apparently I’m not covered by Baylor HouseCalls any more! A couple of years ago when I was no longer able to get to the Baylor clinic for my routine quarterly (and urgent care) medical appointments — even on Mesquite’s senior citizen transit bus with the wheelchair elevator — HouseCalls saved my life with regular medical care at home.



A federal judge on Friday revoked the bail of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort and ordered him taken into custody after he was accused of tampering with witnesses in special counsel Robert Mueller’s criminal case against him. Manafort had been accused by Robert Mueller of reaching out to two former business partners who allegedly helped to coordinate his lobbying effort for Ukraine in the United States.

The judge found that Manafort had a history of deception and was a flight risk with multiple passports in several names. Even house arrest was not enough to prevent this slippery jerk from continuing to commit crimes. For the last several months he’s been confined to his apartment in Alexandria, Virginia, on house arrest with ankle monitoring bracelets, while he used half a dozen foreign cell phones to disguise his calls to witnesses. The judge clearly had enough of his bullshit.

Paul Manafort was sent to jail today!

The charges facing Manafort in his September trial include failure to disclose foreign lobbying, bank fraud, tax fraud, money laundering, witness tampering, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy to obstruct justice. Even if Manafort is convicted of half of these charges, he’ll spend the rest of his life in prison. Good riddance!



It’s almost 3 p.m. and my hospice C.N.A. will be here at 6 to do bathing and powdering … which means I’ve got time for a lovely afternoon nap! Thank you for reading this and please be quiet.

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