We finally decided to move my big iMac workstation from the study into the family room.

Happy Monday morning from the new “nerve center” at Howdygram headquarters! It is with total glee and joyful hysteria that I make the following yoooge announcement: Yesterday Sam and I made the momentous decision to relocate my big iMac computer workstation from the study to the family room so I won’t feel like somebody drained the life out of my body any more.

I slipped into another depression over the weekend until I finally said what’s been on my mind for weeks: I can’t live without my Mac any more. It’s been months since I’ve been able to walk to the study, and it’s not likely that I’ll ever be able to again. It gets harder and harder every day, especially since I’m taking Morphine now for chronic pain, and Morphine has slowed me down considerably. Bottom line: If I can’t get back to my recreational creative endeavors I’ll have a BRAIN HEMORRHAGE.

So … last night I found a large desk with wheels on Amazon (pictured below) and ordered it this morning right after I called Half-Price Geeks to get a quote for relocating my iMac workstation into another room. (They only charge $112 … and that includes a 20% senior citizen discount.)

My new computer workstation with handy locking wheels.

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Aside from my new rolling computer desk, other important purchases this morning have included a few essentials from Wal-Mart … Kraft pimento cheese, tasty sweet corn relish and lots of wonderful Chef Boyardee products. (I especially love their ravioli.)

I almost forgot. I also ordered a lovely big bottle of sugar-free Ocean Spray Cran-Pomegranate … because sometimes a girl just gotta have juice! In the past I remember asking Sam to look for this at the store when he goes shopping but he couldn’t find any sugar-free Ocean Spray products. So Wal-Mart’s website is the only way to make it happen.

Ocean Spray Cran-Pomegranate … and it’s sugar free!

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Once again we have another ridiculous public health scare: POISONED FRUIT … just like a scene from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! A multistate outbreak of salmonella linked to pre-cut melon has sickened at least 60 people, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A recall has affected eight states.

Six people are sick in Illinois, 11 in Indiana, 32 in Michigan, 10 in Missouri and one in Ohio. The melon was also sold in Georgia, Kentucky and North Carolina. Stores carrying the melon include Costco, Jay C, Kroger, Payless, Owen’s, Sprouts, Trader Joe’s, Walgreens, Walmart and Whole Foods/Amazon. Thirty-one people have been hospitalized in this outbreak. So far there have been no deaths reported.

We still have a widespread nationwide E. coli hoo-hah going on — romaine lettuce and bagged salads, remember? — resulting in a ton of hospitalizations and several deaths, and now the CDC tells us to look out for salmonella in pre-cut melons! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … NOBODY EVER GOT SICK OR DIED EATING CHEETOS. Thank you.

Look out for dangerous melons at your favorite store. They could kill you.

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I’m having a weird evening, people. It’s 6:40 p.m., I had Taco Bell for dinner — thank you, Sam — and now I’m typing quietly in the family room while my significant other is elsewhere in the house doing whatever he does when he’s not with me. Unfortunately, I’m a “prisoner” right now because I’m seated on a bench with no access to my iPhone, my cane or my walker. If I want to get up, or if I need something, there’s no way to move by myself or alert Sam. I feel like a turtle on its back with all four legs in the air! Maybe I’d better move on.

Thank you for reading this. See y’all tomorrow, okay?