And now … my assorted hoo-hahs for Monday have included all of the following ...
WALKING FROM THE FAMILY ROOM TO THE STUDY but I got sidetracked at 10:30 a.m. by a visit from my hospice nursing aide, who bathed me and slathered parts of my body with a prescription rash cream. She said she’d call my R.N. to find out whatever happened to my request for a stronger dose of Morphine. I asked for it Saturday morning but never heard back from anybody. Morphine rocks, guys!
WHEN IS MY NEXT APPOINTMENT WITH HOUSECALLS. I canceled my May 29 appointment a few days in advance due to being hospitalized at the time, but I can’t remember if anybody from HouseCalls ever rescheduled it or not. So I called this morning and left a voice-mail message, but nobody ever called me back. I’M BATTING ZERO TODAY! However a second call about three minutes ago finally gave me the result I was looking for … my next HouseCalls visit with Antonia is scheduled for June 15. Woo-hoo!
WE HAD A VISIT FROM ISABELLA LATE THIS AFTERNOON. She’s a hospice R.N. who stopped by around 5:30 to dress the ulcer on the bottom of my left heel. It’s coming along nicely, by the way! Afterwards Isabella checked my vitals … blood pressure 104/60, temperature 97.2° (normal for me), oxygen 86%. And that last one’s way too low, so Isabella put the cannula up my nose and turned on my oxygen generator! For the record, I go to bed with the oxygen on every night because we already know that my level drops too low when I’m sleeping.
EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE, FINALLY. It’s almost 9:30 p.m. now, and a couple of hours ago I finally received a text message from Bea, the hospice administrator. The supervising M.D. approved my request for a stronger dose of extended release Morphine, and commencing immediately I can take 30mg twice a day … that’s twice what I’ve been taking for the past week! I’M SO HAPPY I COULD SCREAM … even though I haven’t the vaguest idea how my body will react to that much Morphine. It might be fun, it might knock me out, it might make me completely hysterical, it might make me sick. Know what? When I take my first 30mg dose in the morning I’ll “live blog” my thoughts and feelings, okay? Might make for fun reading …
I HAD A CRAPPY DINNER TONIGHT. Technically, it consisted of a can of very tasty Nalley tamales and two popsicles. Sam also nuked a bag of Green Giant broccoli, carrots and cauliflower in a “light cheese sauce” but it was absolutely putrid and I asked Sam to throw it in the trash. There were two acceptable pieces of cauliflower, the teeny carrot sticks were virtually inedible, and all the pieces of broccoli were clumps from the end of the stem and hard as a rock. Not a single fluffy broccoli floret in the entire fucking bag, and I couldn’t eat any of it.
TONIGHT’S ENTERTAINMENT. I just finished watching No Time for Comedy (1940) starring James Stewart and Rosalind Russell … an annoying plot and annoying characters, even with A-list talent. In a word, James Stewart was a real ASSHOLE in this movie! On the plus side, right now I’m watching A Foreign Affair (1949) starring Jean Arthur, Marlene Dietrich and John Lund. This one’s a comedy that falls into a category all its own, mostly because it must the 250th time Marlene Dietrich was cast as a NIGHT CLUB SINGER even though she had no vocal talent whatsoever. (Listen to her sing a number called “Black Market.” Holy shit.)
WE HAD A VISIT FROM ISABELLA LATE THIS AFTERNOON. She’s a hospice R.N. who stopped by around 5:30 to dress the ulcer on the bottom of my left heel. It’s coming along nicely, by the way! Afterwards Isabella checked my vitals … blood pressure 104/60, temperature 97.2° (normal for me), oxygen 86%. And that last one’s way too low, so Isabella put the cannula up my nose and turned on my oxygen generator! For the record, I go to bed with the oxygen on every night because we already know that my level drops too low when I’m sleeping.
I HAD A CRAPPY DINNER TONIGHT. Technically, it consisted of a can of very tasty Nalley tamales and two popsicles. Sam also nuked a bag of Green Giant broccoli, carrots and cauliflower in a “light cheese sauce” but it was absolutely putrid and I asked Sam to throw it in the trash. There were two acceptable pieces of cauliflower, the teeny carrot sticks were virtually inedible, and all the pieces of broccoli were clumps from the end of the stem and hard as a rock. Not a single fluffy broccoli floret in the entire fucking bag, and I couldn’t eat any of it.
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| Worst frozen vegetables on earth in a thoroughly tasteless sauce. |
TONIGHT’S ENTERTAINMENT. I just finished watching No Time for Comedy (1940) starring James Stewart and Rosalind Russell … an annoying plot and annoying characters, even with A-list talent. In a word, James Stewart was a real ASSHOLE in this movie! On the plus side, right now I’m watching A Foreign Affair (1949) starring Jean Arthur, Marlene Dietrich and John Lund. This one’s a comedy that falls into a category all its own, mostly because it must the 250th time Marlene Dietrich was cast as a NIGHT CLUB SINGER even though she had no vocal talent whatsoever. (Listen to her sing a number called “Black Market.” Holy shit.)
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| Jean Arthur, John Lund and Marlene Dietrich in “A Foreign Affair.” |
Bedtime, people. Turn out the lights when you’re done here and please don’t forget to remember the Alamo if you have nothing better to do. Thank you.
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