L’Shanah Tovah, y’all.

To celebrate the dawn of another new year I’d like to wish all of my Jewish readers — friends, relatives and total strangers — a sweet and happy 5780 from Howdygram headquarters. And here’s my annual Rosh Hashanah graphic!

Mister Sam of Beverly Hills was supposed to give me a haircut today.

Hi-de-ho, everybody … notice the big change up above in the Howdygram’s banner? I’ve been somewhat unwell for the last couple of days (details follow) so I decided to amuse myself with a new “look” and new graphics. If you’re not thrilled, hang in there. You’ll get used to it eventually.

This month’s catheter change was another total disaster.

Hi, everybody. It’s 12:03 a.m. Thursday morning and I’m finally getting around to the Howdygram. I’ve been on a brief hiatus due to a large volume of unexpected sleep, assorted digestion difficulties and an abundance of wild news emanating from our nation’s capitol. In case you’ve been hiding under a rock for the last few days, I think the treasonous orangutan in the White House is finally on his way out … and hopefully on his way to prison. Glory hallelujah!

East Texas is drowning in lots of weather.

Hello … and happy Friday morning from the Lone Star State! I don’t know why I’m so damn cheerful, to tell y’all the truth, because the eastern third of Texas is being pounded to death by TROPICAL DEPRESSION IMELDA. Houston, and areas to the east of Houston, are floating away under 55 inches of rain during the last 36 hours … and there’s more on the way.

A two-day gift from my guardian angel.

Wednesday morning, 6:30 a.m., and the house is quiet. I was awake most of the night watching a couple of amazing movies, although they’re definitely amazing for very different reasons.

We’re expecting visitors!

It’s another hot and sweaty autumn Sunday in north Texas — 98° with substantial humidity — and Sam is vaulting around the house doing a few miscellaneous “clean-up” chores. You know, folding the afghan in the family room, unloading the dishwasher and re-folding the fingertip towels in the hall bathroom. Wonder why? WE’RE EXPECTING VISITORS!

Harve Presnell, up close and personal.

It’s Friday night at Howdygram headquarters and there’s not much going on around here. Sam is taking a nice after-dinner nap even though I don’t think he’s eaten, and my digestive system is too fucked-up to think about food. At the present time I’m living on: 1) applesauce; 2) Glucerna meal replacement shakes for old diabetics; and 3) soup that contains nothing solid, i.e., noodles.

Nasal difficulties.

Hello, and happy Wednesday night to you and yours. I’ve had a rough day, so in case you’re interested I think I’ll begin with a comprehensive list of complaints.

Please don’t get scared.

It’s 9:30 Wednesday morning, and I’m waiting for my hospice C.N.A. to show up. It’s bath day again. Woo-hoo!

It’s time again for the State Fair of Texas.

Yo, and happy Labor Day from the retired sleepyheads at Howdygram headquarters! It’s nearly 10 p.m. already and the holiday is almost over, but I hope yours was a good one with lots of people, maybe a parade, happy times and potato salad.