The Howdygram 2: It’s time again for the State Fair of Texas.

Yo, and happy Labor Day from the retired sleepyheads at Howdygram headquarters! It’s nearly 10 p.m. already and the holiday is almost over, but I hope yours was a good one with lots of people, maybe a parade, happy times and potato salad.

Sam and I love potato salad. People, not so much any more.

The Labor Day holiday was a frustrating weekend for me. My drecky immobile body is still recovering from shlepping on and off two new hospital beds last week and the inability of more medical professionals who can’t figure out how to change a goddamn catheter. In addition to the above, I’m also dealing with …

BREATHING DIFFICULTIES. This is caused by anxiety because my overall oxygen concentration is fine (92% or higher). I’ve started taking Xanax for this. I love Xanax!
FAILING TASTE BUDS. The only flavor profile I can taste any more is “hot and spicy,” so our refrigerator is packed with hot sauce from every corner of the globe. I even have a bottle from Taco Bell.
SHITTY BURNING BLADDER SPASMS. They’re baa-ack, and they’re torturing me! Please believe me … “torture” is NOT an overly-dramatic word here. I sincerely mean it even though the spasms are infrequent right now and not as strong as they used to be a few months ago. If they get any worse I can always take Tolterodine* again for a couple of days.

TOLTERODINE is a miraculous anti-spasmodic drug that works almost immediately to stop an over-active bladder and the burning spasms you get with a urinary tract infection. Unfortunately, Tolterodine also triggers MIGRAINES, and that’s why I eventually had to stop taking it. (Jesus. It’s always something.)

SNEEZING AND ALLERGY SYMPTOMS. These activities feel horrible when you wear a cannula up your nose all the time. Trust me. I wouldn’t kid you about this.
AN ENDLESS NEED TO SLEEP. My grand total is about 18 hours a day now, and even “light naps” can stretch to six hours. This is disturbing on a number of levels, mostly because I need enough waking hours to finish Howdygram posts with time leftover to design greeting cards for The Howdygram Store.

Before I forget, here are three new greeting card designs that I uploaded yesterday to The Howdygram Store.

Uploading artwork is actually a tedious process. Every greeting card has four printable sides, so you have to design a high-resolution art file for each side. Then you have to: 1) give each card a unique, descriptive name and title for Zazzle’s website; 2) write a substantial product description that’s a minimum of three sentences; 3) assign five to 10 carefully chosen keywords for search engines; and 4) select a product category. Steps 1 through 4 take 10 to 12 minutes altogether … sometimes more, because it’s not easy to write prose about a greeting card! For your possible interest, The Howdygram Store sells more than 300 unique greeting cards, all designed by yours truly.

Yes, I’ve got more free fonts for you! Today’s list is really special, with a smattering of just about everything in the font universe. We’ve got dingbats (”Mister Pumpkins”), hand-drawn fonts (“Asma,” “Snackwrap”), display fonts (“Super Kids,” “Birly”) all kinds of interesting scripts (my favorites are “Candys” and “Gillingham”) and three wonderful layering fonts … “Bitter Gourd,” “Hatter Halloween” and “Leonid Retro.” Layering fonts are my new addiction!

I’ll include download links below the graphic in case you want any of these for your own collection.

Mister Pumpkins • Sweet Pinkies • Super Kids • Vanilatte • Alimentary

Panda • Candys • Brulle • Asma • Hughs • Betania • Birly Gillingham

Snackwrap • Bitter Gourd • Hatter Halloween • Leonid Retro

Mark your calendar! I thought y’all might want to know that it’s time again for the STATE FAIR OF TEXAS, a major Lone Star hoo-hah that’s held right here in Dallas from September 27 to October 20. It’s been years since my last visit to the Fair. I believe Sam and I went once back in 2007 when we first moved to Texas, but even then I already had serious pain and swelling in my feet and knees and had to spend most of the time seated under a tent with a Diet Coke while Sam visited various pavillions and exhibits. (He especially loved the cattle.) Actually, my clearest memories of the State Fair of Texas date back to the mid-1980s when I lived here with my first husband for a couple of years. That seems like a lifetime ago!

But let’s get down to business, shall we? Every year in the Howdygram I post the Big Tex Choice Award winners, the Fair’s intensely popular fried food extravaganza. Here are the top six entries for 2019. The winner was #1: Ruth’s Stuffed Fried Taco Cone. Descriptions appear after the photos. (These were copied and pasted from the State Fair’s website.) Personally, #3, #4 and #6 sound absolutely disgusting!

RUTH’S STUFFED FRIED TACO CONE. Tender, savory, marinated, slow-cooked barbacoa served in an ice cream cone-shaped tortilla shell with black beans and cilantro lime rice. It is topped with pico de gallo, queso fresco, and homemade salsa verde. The perfect handheld treat to enjoy while strolling through the Fair.
FERNIE’S FRIED BURNT END BURRITO. The pinnacle of barbecue combined with everyone’s favorite spicy appetizer! A large flour tortilla is filled with a jalapeno popper spread of cream cheese, savory bacon, Mexican blend cheese, mildly spicy diced jalapenos, pepper jack and smoky nuggets of barbecue burnt ends. Quick fried to a golden brown crispy and served with a sweet tangy, spicy barbecue sauce.
BIG RED CHICKEN BREAD. This new Fair favorite starts with a homemade, light, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth, Big Red® -flavored frosting, and served with a savory fried chicken wing resting in the middle of the doughnut. So long chicken and waffles, hello Big Red® Chicken Bread!
TEXAS CREAM CORN CASSEROLE FRITTERS. Grandma’s traditional cream corn casserole with a Texas twist! Cream corn, kernel corn, sour cream, cheddar cheese, and cornbread mix are combined into a batter with chopped bacon and freshly diced jalapenos. Instead of baking, the corn casserole is fried into crispy, lightly browned fluffy pillows of frittery goodness! Four to an order are arranged around a cream corn queso blanco for dipping and sharing.
CALYPSO ISLAND SHRIMP BOWL. Tropical cabbage stir fry with fresh carrots, kale, scallions, ginger, and sweet red bell peppers, served on a yellow tropical rice topped with herbaceous grilled Caribbean (marinated) shrimp and a sweet and spicy tropical glaze.
SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN FETTUCCINI ALFREDO BALLS. A golden fried ball filled with fettuccine alfredo, Southern fried chicken bites, and fresh mozzarella cheese. The ball is garnished with house made alfredo sauce, grated parmesan cheese, Italian parsley, fresh basil, and cracked black pepper. Served with a side of flash fried asparagus spears, and a toasted garlic parmesan baguette.