A Wednesday morning hanging hoo-hah.

So it’s Friday morning, just a few minutes after 11 a.m., and I’m considering how swell it would be to spend some quality time with my new best friends Ben & Jerry.

Living life between the spasms.

It’s Tuesday morning, boys and girls, a few minutes before 11 a.m., and I just greeted the day with a handful of pills, two Hydrocodones and a pair of intense, back-to-back burning bladder spasms.

There’s nothing I can do to raise my numbers or make this better. My heart is failing, period.

Shalom, welcome and how’s everything with all y’all*!? It’s a few minutes past 3:45 on Sunday morning and I thought I’d kill a little time with a Howdygram post. I just spent the last 24 hours designing more greeting cards for The Howdygram Store, and I definitely need a break right now from all that stinkin’ creativity. An Andy Hardy movie, Hostess SnoBalls and a pair of Hydrocodones would be a fabulous way to unwind. (Especially the Hydrocodones.)

Let’s pour a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and wait for the other shoe to drop.

I finally fell asleep this morning at 5 a.m., just about the same time that Sam left for his daily sunrise walk in the woods at Samuell Park. Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? Sam calls sunrise a “religious experience,” so he’s there nearly every day — even when it’s only 45° outside — to worship the moon, the stars and the brilliant colors at dawn. Judging from the photos he brings home, I totally get it. Here’s one of his latest.

Happy third birthday, Hudson!

It’s early Tuesday morning at Howdygram headquarters — only a few minutes past 1 a.m. — and there’s actually a great deal of activity going on here at this wee hour. For instance, I just finished binge-watching a week’s worth of “People’s Court” reruns while Sam massages cream conditioner into our leather sectional sofa. We’re definitely a pair of motivated night owls.

I’ve got the latest “look” in sleepwear from Vomitorium Fashion Week.

As promised … here’s another jam-packed Howdygram post. I’ll try to continue typing as long as I can, and please forgive me if this gets a little too graphic. Thank you.

Throughout the day I’ve been limp, droopy, achy, sad and blecchy.

Not good. Not good. NOT GOOD.

I’m referring to my current health crisis … something unexpected that’s really knocked the wind out of my sails. Ahoy, matey.

Facebook is down right now. Is anybody going through withdrawal?

Here’s hoping y’all are enjoying a pleasant Tuesday evening. Everything is peaceful* here, with Sam asleep on the sofa, They Died with Their Boots On (1941) starring Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland on TV, and I’m taking a short break from new greeting card designs for The Howdygram Store. In case you care, my designs during the last few days have been prolific … 16 so far, and more to come! I’ll share a few for you in the Howdygram as soon as I have a chance to upload my artwork to Zazzle and post the cards for sale. Stay tuned, okay?

Recording, watching and (sometimes) writing about old movies are a yooge part of my life.

Another day, another digestion nightmare. Ready for this? I had a lovely plate of artistic eggs yesterday morning for breakfast (thank you, Wolfgang) that took 12½ hours to finish traveling through my esophagus. I’m awfully tired of all these rotten infirmities! I almost starved to death — with a pressure in my chest like I’m having a fucking heart attack — until I could finally swallow again and take another bite of food. (Sam eventually baked some mozzarella sticks for a late dinner.)

I started experiencing those burning bladder spasms again, once or twice every hour.

Happy Friday to y’all from your favorite bedridden blogger … me! It’s 9:30 a.m. and I’m killing a few minutes before my C.N.A. shows up for bath-time. She’s usually here at 10:30. Let’s see how far I can get with this in an hour!

Good news … Howdygram headquarters no longer has a matzo ball shortage!

THURSDAY, 4/7/2019, 1:20 A.M. Yo, y’all. It’s the wee hours of Thursday morning (is 1:20 a.m. “wee” enough for you?), Sam is spread out in bed, and I’m fighting a case of middle-of-the-night restlessness, probably because I’m really, really hot right now and finally managed to peel off one of my knit afghans. (The red one.) I’m sure I’ll feel less agitated as soon as I cool off a little and give my recent dose of Hydrocodone a chance to kick in.

I’m not comfortable, well or happy right now. Not even a little bit.

I really hate it when I have to start a post like this, but please accept my yooge apology for taking a few days off. Obviously, this is my first post since last Saturday … and for two excellent reasons: 1) I was occupied doing something else; and 2) I also wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to depress anybody. Got that?

I broke my glasses on Wednesday.

After two days of near-nonstop sleep I think I can finally announce that … I’m living in crazytown! I’ve been sleeping all day, nodding off in the middle of a sentence, never knowing if it’s morning or night, missing meals, and I still don’t feel rested or refreshed. I guess this probably explains why I still haven’t been able to start reading my new book by Andrew McCabe, The Threat: How the FBI Protects America in the Age of Terror and Trump. I need to get a grip. (An order of egg foo young wouldn’t hurt, either.)