I’m referring to my current health crisis … something unexpected that’s really knocked the wind out of my sails. Ahoy, matey.
Wednesday night around 10:15 p.m. I started feeling quite poorly, which centered around a non-fever — i.e., a very low (hypothermic) body temperature of 95.2° — and I was freezing cold and shivering with severe muscle pain. Within 30 minutes my temperature shot up to 100°, and I was so damn hot I swore I could see steam rising from my body. Sam called the hospice administrator (Bea) to let her know what was going on, and she drove down to see me from Plano and had already put one of her R.N.s on alert to spend the night at our house if it turned out to be necessary.
To some extent this has happened to me before. Four times, actually — once in 2017 and three times last year — and all of them resulted in a call to 911 and a trip to the hospital by ambulance. Those four other times, however, my fever climbed a lot higher than 100°, and I was delirious, unresponsive, had serious trouble breathing, and by the time I got to the hospital I was in septic shock. Now that I’m under the care of Accord Hospice, however, we don’t call 911 any more … we simply call Accord, and they send a nurse to hold my hand and say sweet things to Sam.
Bea was gone by midnight, and the following is a detailed summary of everything that happened next.
- I’m pleased to report that I SLEPT LIKE A ROCK, and Sam spent all night on the sofa in case I needed him.
- There were NO OVERNIGHT EMERGENCIES, although I did wake Sam at 4 a.m. to ask for a sandwich.
- Throughout the day I’ve been LIMP, DROOPY, ACHY, SAD AND BLECCHY. (Frequently known as five of the seven dwarfs.)
- Asked Sam to buy me TACO BELL for lunch, and he did, but this only led to ...
- THE STUPID HOT SAUCE BROUHAHA OF 2019 involving a bottle of Taco Bell Hot Sauce from the refrigerator and me not remembering that it doesn’t have a “shaker” top like Tabasco … it pours like a bottle of ketchup. So of course I turned the bottle upside down over my burrito and drowned the poor thing with at least a quarter-cup of liquid lava. Since Sam was already on his way to Costco and I didn’t have any way to fix this mess by myself … I just ate it. All of it. I’m pretty sure my vocal chords are permanently destroyed.
- Had LIME SHRIMP SALAD for dinner (a house-made Costco specialty) and one leftover Taco Bell soft taco.
- Started FEELING LOUSY (again) around 7:30 p.m. and my temperature dropped (again) to 95.2°.
- Watched the big ”TOP CHEF” FINALE from Macau, China. KELSEY WINS!
- Woke Sam from his nap at 11 p.m. because my back itched. (I’m not kidding.)
I think I need to publish this, take a Popsicle break and shut down for a little while. I’ve got a lot more adventures to report in my next Howdygram post.
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