I finally fell asleep this morning at 5 a.m., just about the same time that Sam left for his daily sunrise walk in the woods at Samuell Park. Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? Sam calls sunrise a “religious experience,” so he’s there nearly every day
— even when it’s only 45° outside — to worship the moon, the stars and the brilliant colors at dawn. Judging from the photos he brings home, I totally get it. Here’s one of his latest.
Jesus. A whole ’nother day got away from me again! It’s a few minutes after 4 p.m., and Sam tells me
I WAS ASLEEP FOR ALMOST 11 HOURS. It started immediately after he left for his morning walk at 5:15 a.m. and I waved buh-bye from my hospital bed in the family room. That’s the last thing I remember.
Holy shit.
What’s going on with me? Why am I sleeping through
12-hour slabs of life every day?
Even though I’ve been bedridden since last spring, this
FRIGHTENING SLEEP PATTERN is actually a recent development. Up until a week or two ago I would always be awake at 7:30 when Sam got home from his walk, he’d make me breakfast (usually eggs), and I’d still be up when my C.N.A. got here at 10:30.
Now I’m just fucking UNCONSCIOUS all the time … a condition that my hospice R.N. quietly refers to as “a decline.”
On the plus side, however, at least Sam can finally tell if I’m
GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN just by looking at the color of my skin. My hospice R.N. taught him how to do it. If the skin turns dark around my mouth and chin he needs to turn up the generator to the highest level — “five liters” — even if I’m asleep. Five liters is pretty much like having a
hair dryer shoved up your nose.
Aside from all of the above, my
OTHER CURRENT HEALTH ISSUES include: 1) occasional difficulty swallowing food; 2) sporadic burning bladder spasms; 3) a craving for strawberry pie; and 4) painful split skin behind my right ear due to abrasion from my cannula tubing.
It’s always something, isn’t it?
FYI, #3 — an Edwards Strawberry Creme Pie,
made with REAL STRAWBERRIES — came home with my
Wal-Mart order Thursday morning, and #4 is responding nicely to an antibiotic ointment.
“President” Trump — the orangutan’s anus that’s illegally occupying the White House — has been on a John McCain rampage again. This is one of Trump’s most despicable targets. I wasn’t a big fan of John McCain (he was the fool who gave Sarah Palin a national stage during the 2008 president election), but he’s dead now, after serving his country in the Navy for 23 years (including six years as a P.O.W. during the Viet Nam War) and more than 30 years in the United States Senate. McCain’s widow and family deserve much better than the shit they’re getting from Trump. Maybe it’s time for our “President” to JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
Yesterday, for whatever reason, the White House felt compelled to publish a list of West Wing student interns for the preceding year and then posted the list in a Tweet, as follows:
Like everything else the White House does, this was all just a stupid joke to them. If you read the list carefully you’ll run across the names of some unusual “celebrities” … Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Aunt May, Peter Parker (Spiderman), John Snow (Game of Thrones), John Cleese (Monty Python) and J.T. Hutt (Jabba-the-Hut from Star Wars). Did I miss any other comic book characters or superheroes?
Holy crap.
News flash!
News flash! NEWS FLASH! For a while I never thought I’d live long enough to see a headline like this, but at 4 p.m. Central time on Friday, March 22, 2019, Special Counsel Robert Mueller delivered his final report to Attorney General William Barr.
It’s over. FINALLY.
Unfortunately, morons in the media — and Trump supporters nationwide — assumed immediately that Trump and his rotten, conniving children must be innocent of collusion because they haven’t been indicted. This assumption is
dead wrong for the following three reasons:
- SECRET SEALED INDICTMENTS. Mueller has already filed dozens and dozens of secret, sealed indictments that we know nothing about yet. If they’re for current White House employees or other individuals in the Trump regime, they’ll probably have to be removed from their jobs before the indictments are made public.
- INDICTMENTS FOR TRUMP AND PENCE. Mueller’s cover letter to William Barr says there are “no additional indictments” to be expected. Of course not … because Mueller isn’t the individual who would indict a sitting president or vice-president. That would be a job for the Attorney General, the Supreme Court or Congress! We can be sure the Mueller report has made appropriate recommendations for Trump and Pence.
- INDICTMENTS FOR “THE KIDS”. Indictments for Trump’s children (relative to the Russia/collusion scandal) could be part of the secret batch that hasn’t been released yet (see item #1) … or they may have been handed over to the Southern District of New York so Trump can’t pardon them after they’re convicted.
So let’s all calm down, pour a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream and wait for the other shoe to drop,
okay?
Oy. I just discovered that my oxygen level is only 84% and my heart rate is 54. Both of these numbers are VERY low, especially since I’m wearing a cannula! Please stay tuned …
Thank you for reading this. Want to be friends?
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