Monday, July 7, 2014

This is a big day because big things are happening here.

This is a BIG DAY at Howdygram headquarters because BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING HERE, and I’ll list them for you now in case you’re interested. Thank you.

IT’S HOT. Yes, friends ... it’s summer, it’s Texas and it’s REALLY HOT. I just did a screen shot of our seven-day forecast from in case you think I’m making this up. Please also note that we’re expecting NO RAIN WHATSOEVER. This is what a drought looks like, and we haven’t even hit the triple-digits yet.
SAM WENT TO COSTCO THIS MORNING. He brought home many of our favorites — teeny tacos, breakfast burritos, a tub of cut-up fresh pineapple — but no bagels because he wasn’t especially excited about Costco’s limited cream cheese possibilities.
UPS DELIVERED MY AMAZON PRIME PANTRY ORDER. Unfortunately the carton is too huge for me to lift so it will have to hang around outside until Sam gets home from work tonight. This is severely depressing as I was counting on sugar-free cookies, mayonnaise and cream of mushroom soup for dinner. Please pray for me, okay?
INVASION OF THE GLASS PEOPLE. Tim, leader of the glass people, showed up at 11 a.m. to adjust the shower door in our master bathroom so it will perform as designed, such as STAY CLOSED and NOT FLOOD THE FLOOR WITH WATER AND SOAP, an issue that began following his last visit on June 24. Worse yet, as he’s leaving today Tim casually mentions that our shower door latch is actually broken and he thinks Sam should drive over to Lowe’s to buy a replacement and install it himself. Holy mother of crap. IF THE DOOR LATCH IS BROKEN, TIM IS THE JACKASS WHO BROKE IT! This is the culmination of our four-month remodeling nightmare? Thank you, Tim, for your FINE ADVICE and EXCELLENT SERVICE!

SOCK-FOLDING PARTY TONIGHT. The festivities will commence at 7 p.m. so please send an email right away if you’d like to come over and help. I’ll make Marcytinis if you’ll bring Cheetos.

I know I’m always pestering you about movies you should watch on TCM but there are three very good reasons for this: I’M RETIRED, I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO and I LOVE OLD MOVIES. Therefore I’d like to recommend a few more cinematic gems, all scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday. Check your local listings for times. Thank you.
  • Sitting Pretty (1948) starring Clifton Webb, Maureen O’Hara and Robert Young
  • Our Man in Havana (1960) starring Alec Guinness and Maureen O’Hara
  • Ruggles of Red Gap (1935) starring Charles Laughton and Roland Young
  • Step Lively, Jeeves! (1937) starring Arthur Treacher
  • Holy Matrimony (1943) starring Monty Woolley and Alan Mowbray
  • The Earl of Chicago (1939) starring Robert Montgomery
  • Fools for Scandal (1938) starring Carole Lombard and Ralph Bellamy
Two of my favorites are pictured above. In Our Man in Havana Alec Guinness is an expatriate British vacuum cleaner salesman in pre-revolutionary Cuba who gets weasled into a crazy espionage scheme to earn extra money for his social-climbing daughter. And Ruggles of Red Gap is a masterpiece of comedy, featuring Charles Laughton as Marmaduke Ruggles, a British butler who winds up in the American wild west after his master (Roland Young as the Earl of Burnstead) loses him in a poker game to a vacationing cattle baron. YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE — seriously! — even if it’s just for Laughton’s amazing barroom recital of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and Roland Young singing “Pretty Baby.”

Thank you for your continued support.

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