Jose Antonio Fernandez is A Idiot with no leg to stand on.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out exactly as you expected. Instead of watching Lawrence of Arabia (1962) during dinner tonight Sam requested Captain Blood (1935) starring Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland and Basil Rathbone. I didn’t mind. By now I’m sure everybody knows I’ll watch Errol Flynn in damn near ANYTHING.

Do you have a couple of minutes for a Howdygram Einstein Award? A Florida man named Jose Antonio Fernandez has been jailed since Tuesday for threatening to kill members of the Miami-Dade County Commission because he’s REALLY FED UP with Criminal Governmental Overreach, the National Dictatorship, Tyranny and Seizing His Land Illegally. This man is clearly A Idiot with no leg to stand on.

According to an article in the Miami Herald, Fernandez’s commercial nursery owed the county $316,000 in restitution for crimes against the environment following a 2011 court decision, but Fernandez hasn’t paid a dime of it. The nursery has already been seized and now his house is set to be sold at auction to defray the unpaid fine, prompting Fernandez to show up at the commission meeting in a freshly-ironed “NO TO UNITED NATIONS AGENDA 21” tee shirt to shriek at the commissioners about how he would not stand for being treated like a victim of Castro’s Cuba. “You confiscated my land already,” he shouted. “Now you want my house. I came here to tell you in public, if you sell my house I’m going to board up the entire house with me inside.” Oy.

“I dare you to sell my house,” Fernandez told the  commissioners. “You have become tyrants. You have become a corrupted government. You have destroyed my family and hundreds of families. I am the people. And the time that you sell the house, my Constitution gives me the right TO SHOOT EVERY ONE OF YOU.” Then he points at each commissioner, one at a time, and yells, “SHOOT ’EM!”

In the following video we see chairwoman Rebeca Sosa, apparently oblivious to the simple truths of the Constitution, directing two sergeants-at-arms to drag Fernandez from the building because that’s how we roll now in Obama’s Tyrannical Police State even though I’m sure a right-wing patriot could provide ample proof that in the olden days of the Founding Fathers citizens could shoot county commissioners all the time, or at least threaten to, without the fear of government intervention. As Fernandez is hauled away he can be heard screaming in broken English, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! THIS IS AMERICA!”

I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with this kind of shitty drama. The most challenging part of my life is deciding what time to eat dinner.