There’s a cattle ranch across the street from CVS. It’s like getting a free floor show.

SATURDAY, 9:50 A.M. I’m here to write a Howdygram post, but to tell you the truth I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay awake. I woke up this morning at 6:30 after slightly more than three hours of sleep (not enough!), and although I was wide awake at the time I’m definitely fading FAST. I’m thinking a nice long snooze in the family room with a couple of my favorite nap movies would be awfully damn perfect. I briefly considered letting you vote for any two of the following titles but I don’t feel much like horsing around with that right now. Regardless, here’s the short list of my current favorite napping movies.

• The Kennel Murder Case (1933) starring William Powell and Mary Astor
• The Bishop Murder Case (1930) starring Basil Rathbone and Roland Young
• The Dragon Murder Case (1934) starring Warren William and Margaret Lindsay
• White Cargo (1940) starring Walter Pidgeon and Hedy Lamarr
• Murder on a Honeymoon (1935) starring Edna May Oliver and James Gleason
• Penguin Pool Murder (1934) starring Edna May Oliver and James Gleason
• Murder on a Bridle Path (1936) starring Helen Broderick and James Gleason

Once in a while I also throw in Sunset Blvd. (1950) starring William Holden and Gloria Swanson, Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring James Mason and Pat Boone, and Life with Father (1947) starring William Powell and Irene Dunne. Around the World in 80 Days (1956) starring David Niven has been retired because I overdosed.

Incidentally, the photo (above) from White Cargo is a key scene near the end of the movie and the only time in the entire film that everybody on this putrid African rubber plantation doesn’t hate everybody else’s miserable guts. They’ve just figured out that Langford (the dude in bed, played by Richard Carlson) was poisoned by the seductive native floozy Tondelayo (Hedy Lamarr, not shown). The other  characters pictured here are Harry Witzel (Walter Pidgeon), Reverend Roberts (Henry O‘Neill) and the Doctor (Frank Morgan), who’s also known unaffectionately (mostly by Witzel) as “the old quack.” Sam and I love this movie SO HARD that we’ve actually memorized the dialog.

---

4:05 P.M. What a delicious nap, people. Sam and I slept for FOUR HOURS! The only other project on my Saturday agenda is dinner, and tonight’s menu is Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl [see recipe] with my exciting new Brinkman Farms canned turkey substituting for the Kirkland chicken. WE CAN HARDLY WAIT. We’re going to eat and watch Lawrence of Arabia (1962) at the same time followed by strawberries Sam bought the other day at Costco. We’re definitely having a hell of a wild time at Howdygram headquarters.

4:38 P.M. I hate annoying crap that doesn’t make sense, don’t you? All of a sudden it’s become a real pain in the ass to buy insulin syringes! Our local Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market pharmacy — where I get nearly all of my prescriptions filled — can’t keep the damn things in stock and the last three times Sam tried to buy them he came home empty-handed. Today they told him to try the big Wal-Mart Supercenter on I-30 in Garland, so I called over there a few minutes ago and (guess what) they don’t have them, either. The pharmacy associate was willing to take my order over the phone for four boxes of 100 syringes but I have absolutely ZERO confidence that anybody will ever remember to set them aside for me and/or actually call to let me know when they come in. Wondering why this is such a huge deal? Because Wal-Mart’s syringes at $12.65 a box are 50% cheaper than anywhere else on earth, including all of my favorite discount diabetes supply websites (yes, these really exist; pathetic, isn’t it?) and our nearby CVS, where they have the nerve to charge $25.

For your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market on Town East Boulevard; C) the Wal-Mart Supercenter (there’s a Subway inside) at I-30 and Broadway in Garland; and D) our local CVS with a real cattle ranch (and actual cattle) directly across the street. When you stand in the parking lot at CVS you get a free floor show.

5:35 P.M. We have to eat dinner now. Thank you for reading this, okay?