What happens when your caregiver gets sick?!

Happy Friday, boys and girls. I’m sad to report that my sweet Sam is sick. I’m thankful he gathered his wits — of which he has many! — and got in to see his doctor right away yesterday morning. The diagnosis …

Thank you, Sam. You saved my life.

Well, it’s a few minutes after 8 a.m. on Sunday morning, and before I go any further I have to post the following very important statement regarding the earthquake in southern California a couple of days ago.

I love my life … with the exception of my left foot.

Hi-de-ho and happy Friday from Howdygram headquarters. However, I hope you don’t think that “headquarters” means we’ve got a bustling newsroom here ... because we don’t. We’ve just got one housebound senior citizen in a bathrobe — yours truly — eating leftover egg salad at 1:45 in the morning.

Anybody know how to make flaming Baked Alaska?

Yo, people! This is the first time since Saturday that I’ve been steady enough to sit at my desk in the study for a couple of hours and type my freakin’ brains out. I’ve been dealing with all of the following health issues: 1) diabetic NEUROPATHY PAIN in my left foot that included my baby toe, arch and heel, plus electric shocks from the top of my foot that radiated into my ankle and shin; 2) a huge BLEEDING BLISTER on the heel of that same foot; 3) severe JOINT PAIN in my knees and elbows; 4) inexplicable major PISHING ACCIDENTS even though I’ve got two bathrooms and two portable commodes for convenient urination; and 5) MIGRAINE HEADACHES due to waking up out of a sound sleep four times in six hours with an exploding bladder. Oy!

The Howdygram bids farewell to Martin Landau.

Shalom and howdy, everybody! It’s 5 o’clock Tuesday morning and I just finished prepping for this Howdygram post. This includes: 1) Googling images for today’s feature about Princess Anne; 2) organizing, cropping and framing the images mentioned in item one; 3) installing today’s free fonts on my iMac; 4) designing today’s free fonts sample list, especially “Diamond Monogram”; and 5) choosing and sizing today’s free digital background images, clipart and assorted doodads from Creative Market.

I missed National French Fry Day. Don’t be mad at me.

Hi, people! Happy sweaty Thursday from the crew at Howdygram Tower in north Texas!

IN OTHER WORDS . . . And now I’d like to unravel a couple of possibly misleading statements from my lede. First, there’s no “crew” because I blog alone. (Practically everybody blogs alone, guys.) Second, there’s no “tower,” either … just a nice desk in a nice room in a nice house (kindly check out the photo that appears in the right sidebar). I also have a lot of nice desk doodads, including many pens and a pencil, a pencil cup, a fancy tape dispenser that holds two different kinds of tape in two different sizes, a brand-name stapler, a desk lamp with six lighting modes and a dimmer switch, a lot of small (8½" x 5½") lined tablets, a classy black genuine leather Kleenex box cover, sugar-free Hawaiian Punch singles-to-go, bottled water, my own personal microwave and a teeny fridge. Thank you.

July is Ronald Colman Month on Turner Classic Movies. Woo-hoo!

Yo, shalom, and howdy-do from hot and sweaty north Texas! It’s 80° at 8 a.m. with an expected high of 95° by mid-afternoon and humidity in the range of 60%. The air will feel like a SWAMP. I can’t recall what this intense heat feels like nor do I want to open the front door to experience this shit for myself, as I’m perfectly content at my desk in an air-conditioned house, without shoes or a brassiere, drinking Crystal Light Peach-Mango tea. I FUCKING LOVE RETIREMENT.

“At some point in the future we’re going to look back and say, how did we do it without space?”

Here’s wishing y’all a very happy Second of July, a day with no significance whatsoever unless you’re the poor slob who has to spend two hours in line at Wal-Mart buying hot dogs for the Fourth. As for Sam and me, we’ll just hang out at Howdygram headquarters with some fabulous old movies, Crystal Light peach/mango iced tea and my favorite guilty pleasure for lunch: Mountain House freeze-dried Spaghetti with Meat Sauce [read my review*] for housebound senior citizens who can’t stand up any more to cook things. Sure looks tasty, doesn’t it?

I swear to God, Rick Perry is on drugs.

I want to start this post with a very special message for my husband, life partner and soul mate ...