A COUGH + A 101° FEVER + BODY ACHES = AN UPPER RESPIRATORY INFECTION
Sam is on a four-day antibiotic regimen with Robitussin cough syrup (if and when he remembers to take it), Tylenol, and trying to sleep as much as possible when I’m not annoying him. My contribution to his recovery is trying to not be needy whenever possible and not requesting any food unless I’m starving. As a result I haven’t eaten much today … just applesauce, one yogurt, and that’s about all. It’s 10:30 p.m. right now, and within the next half-hour I’ll probably request Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup because I’m really hungry.
PRINCE ANDREW GETS THE SACK. It’s finally happened. This week the Queen fired her favorite son, Prince Andrew, for behaving like a royal asshole in a totally disastrous November 16 interview with BBC NewsNight concerning his decades-long friendship with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Interviewer Emily Maitlis commented, “He’s come across as extremely undignified and now he’s a laughing-stock. It was a car crash interview, and headlines [the next] morning were a testament to that.”
It was already a sad and disturbing week for Buckingham Palace. Prince Philip, 98, is in deteriorating health and living 110 miles away from the Queen at Wood Farm on Sandringham Estate, Prince Charles and Camilla were on a state visit to New Zealand, and nobody was around to make a big hoo-hah for the Queen and Philip’s 72nd wedding anniversary on November 20. This major fuck-up by Andrew, the Duke of York, was apparently the last straw for the Queen and also the biggest scandal for the monarchy since his great uncle King Edward VIII, a Nazi sympathizer, abdicated the throne in 1937 to marry American divorcée Wallis Simpson.
On the day after Andrew’s BBC interview aired, the Queen consulted with Prince Charles by phone, and together they decided that Andrew was through. He would no longer have any royal responsibilities, period, and no royal salary, either, essentially leaving his ridiculous money-grubbing ex-wife (Fergie) and goony jet-set “wannabe” daughters (Eugenie and Beatrice) in financial limbo. Say buh-bye to those fancy hats, girls!
On the day after Andrew’s BBC interview aired, the Queen consulted with Prince Charles by phone, and together they decided that Andrew was through. He would no longer have any royal responsibilities, period, and no royal salary, either, essentially leaving his ridiculous money-grubbing ex-wife (Fergie) and goony jet-set “wannabe” daughters (Eugenie and Beatrice) in financial limbo. Say buh-bye to those fancy hats, girls!
DONALD TRUMP IS HIS OWN WORST ENEMY. Holy shit, he did it again. In real time while former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch testified before the House impeachment inquiry last week, the Orange Dotard set himself up for felony charges of witness tampering and witness intimidation when he posted the following threatening tweet:
A little closer to home, I’m sorry to report that it’s 3:30 Saturday afternoon and SAM ISN’T GETTING BETTER. He’s almost half-through with his antibiotics but still has a fever of 101.2° and can barely stand up. On the plus side, though, he doesn’t seem to be coughing any more. So I don’t really know what to make of all this. I’m completely bedridden, and my caregiver is basically in the same boat. We’re up shit’s creek without a paddle right now. I’m trying not to ask Sam to do anything for me, but I can’t drift along like that indefinitely because I need to request food and beverages, I need to let him know when my wee-wee pads need changing, and so on. I wish my caregiver had a caregiver, too!
I felt miserably guilty a few minutes ago and had to send Sam to Wal-Mart to pick up a small grocery order. There’s nobody else around here to do this kind of errand for us. We were out of canned soup, milk, Jell-O cups and assorted other essentials. Thank God Sam didn’t have to shlep into the store, though, or even get out of his car. Wal-Mart’s new grocery pickup service carries everything out to you and puts the bags in your trunk. Even Sam should be able to survive that, right?
Thank you for reading this. Seriously.
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