Saturday, July 12, 2014

Tonight’s menu: Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl.

Mazel tov to me, everybody. I’ve done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING today not counting a McDonald’s Sausage McMuffin for breakfast followed by a six-hour nap in the family room. After I slept through two movies — Murder on a Honeymoon (1935) starring Edna May Oliver and Night Must Fall (1937) starring Robert Montgomery and Dame May Whitty — I shut off the damn TV altogether and remained unconscious in perfect silence until 4:20 in the afternoon.

While I have no idea whatsoever how Sam passed the time today, I know for sure he ate a bagel and a bag of trail mix due to my advanced education in crumb detection.

Guess what! We’re expecting WEATHER next week! This would involve something OTHER than sunny, dry and blistering hot, which is our standard forecast here in north Texas for the months of July and August. As you’ll see on the illustration below by weatherhuman Pete Delkus at WFAA (our local ABC news affiliate), temperatures could be in the low 80s from Tuesday through the end of the week. This means we’ll finally have a chance to retrieve everything we left on the patio in April to burn into cinders — from pets to dinnerware to various relatives who made the mistake of opening the back door — and bring them inside for a proper funeral.
The temperatures in red on the following screenshot from are 15 to 20 degrees below normal for us. AND WE’RE EVEN EXPECTING RAIN! Holy crap!

Know what we’re having for dinner tonight? I’m making MARCY’S WORLD-FAMOUS SENIOR CITIZEN THANKSGIVING BOWL ... a one-pot feast that includes a bag of Stove Top stuffing, two cans of Costco chicken and a jar of Green Giant mushrooms.
If you’re interested, I do the whole glorious thing in the microwave all at once IN THE SAME BOWL (four minutes!) and then drizzle a pile of McCormick instant gravy on top. This is an outstanding meal for seniors for the following reasons: 1) it’s really tasty; 2) it’s really fast; and 3) you don’t have to stand at the stove and actually cook anything. FYI, most of the time I use Stove Top chicken flavor rather than turkey because I think it tastes better.

Thank you for reading this. I hope you and yours are having a swell weekend.

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