Thursday, July 24, 2014

Emergency underpants and Hanukkah suggestions.

In case you’re interested in buying me some useful presents this year for Hanukkah I’d be very pleased to receive new knees, new feet and a new pancreas due to arthritis, peripheral neuropathy and diabetes, respectively. The first day of Hanukkah is December 16 so there’s more than enough time to start Googling replacement body parts. (Amazon would have the best prices but I don’t know if they carry knees.) Thank you in advance for your generosity.

I was hoping I wouldn’t run across another Putz of the Week honoree so soon after the last one until I read a news item yesterday about Ted Nugent — the racist, pants-crapping pedophile — and knew it was too important to pass up. Apparently Nugent is really, really pissed that another concert venue has canceled an appearance because he’s a bigoted psychopath. This time it was the Cour d’Alene Casino in Idaho, run by Native Americans, who dumped the rocker’s show that was scheduled for August 4.
Nugent’s response? Classy. “I take it as a badge of honor that such unclean vermin are upset by me and my positive energy,” he told Gannett News on Tuesday. “Sometimes you give the world the best you got and you get kicked in the teeth. By all indicators I don’t think they actually qualify as people, but there has always been a lunatic fringe of hateful, rotten, dishonest scum.”

This comes just three months after the city of Longview, Texas, canceled Nugent from their Fourth of July festivities following his vile remarks about President Obama, where he referred to the President as a “subhuman mongrel” and invited him to “suck the end of a machine gun.” (I can’t believe I just typed that last sentence. I need to wash my hands.)

Bottom line: TED NUGENT IS A DISGUSTING HORROR OF A HUMAN BEING. Would it surprise you that he loves to pal around with Republicans? Nope, me neither. Check it out.

Anything exciting on your agenda today? So far I’m planning two naps and our new favorite meal for lunch: Marcy’s World-Famous Senior Citizen Thanksgiving Bowl [see recipe], except from now on we’re substituting chicken-flavor Stove Top stuffing (instead of turkey) because the chicken-flavor tastes better and the box is a nicer color. This paragraph is making me hungry.

I’ll wind up this post with a little guessing contest. There’s no prize involved unless you want a tin of emergency underpants, which we always have in stock here at Howdygram headquarters (don’t ask). So here goes ... DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?
A couple of cryptic hints: 1) she’s not a movie star but she’s very well-known; and 2) this photo was taken in 1954 when she graduated from Cornell University. Click here to enter and GOOD LUCK. Thank you for reading this.

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