Artizone has nice boxes and delivery dudes who like your house.

Know what happens when a retired senior citizen is home alone, moderately bored and really hungry? You spend an hour obsessing over full-color food porn on your favorite artisan grocery website — Artizone.com — and blow $68 on THIS (see below) for home delivery on Friday between 6 and 8 p.m. Incidentally, that beautiful chicken pot pie is $30 all by itself because it’s 10" in diameter, weighs 25 pounds and supposedly feeds eight Texans. I bought it for Saturday night dinner for Sam and me. Sorry, but nobody else is invited. Maybe next time, okay?

Incidentally, I think Artizone is an impressive company. They package everything in nifty little kraft boxes, their prices rival the typical farmer’s market, and a surprisingly ebullient middle-aged delivery dude in a red apron actually carries your order straight into the kitchen and tells you how much he likes your house. It just doesn’t get much better than this, does it?

I had a relatively pain-free day that’s quickly drawing to a close because all of a sudden my legs are killing me again and I almost couldn’t make dinner. I’M GETTING VERY DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS. I actually wanted egg salad tonight but had to shift gears at the last minute because I couldn’t stand on my feet long enough to smash up my ingredients. I ate a teeny can of Hormel smoked ham instead. Maybe I should have ordered Chinese.

Thank you for reading this.