I just found out that Planters sells peanut butter. You’re never too old to learn something new.

This is day two of the new and improved NOT BEIGE Howdygram 2, and so far I’m enjoying myself even more than I ever expected. It’s the white background that makes me so damn happy plus the new color palette. Seriously, I love this! And to celebrate I enjoyed some online shopping therapy last night, during which I ordered an assortment of essential crap from my two favorite Internet retailers. Pictured below are: 1) Dial Himalayan Pink Salt & Water Lily body wash; 2) Cutter Bite MD for Sam because he’s always getting chomped to death on the patio; 3) a bunch of Clif bars in Sam’s favorite flavors (Chocolate Brownie and Blueberry Crisp); 4) a sack of Oscar Mayer tasty chopped 100% REAL BACON; 5) four bags of jalapeño-flavored kettle chips; and 6) a large bottle of Downy Sun Blossom scent. If you care, items 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6 are from Wal-Mart and item 5 is from Amazon.

As a housebound senior citizen with chronic pain and a growing list of mobility issues I am always grateful, amused and deliriously happy that I can buy damn near anything I want online — whenever I want it — without pestering Sam to go to the store. The only downside is that I haven’t set foot in a supermarket for YEARS and don’t know what’s on the shelves any more. Every now and then I thumb through the weekly grocery ads in the local newspaper just for the hell of it and discover all kinds of products I never knew existed, i.e., “Holy crap! When did Planters start selling PEANUT BUTTER?” This actually happened to me about half an hour ago, and the answer (according to Google) is 2012.

The moral of the story is, you’re never too old to learn something new.