Welcome to the new and improved Howdygram!

This is it, people ... my very first post to the redesigned NOT BEIGE Howdygram 2, which involved several days of persistent labor and zero naps. In case you’re interested, the original Howdygram still exists and you can always read my earlier posts dating back to 2009 whenever you don’t have anything else to do.

I’ll begin today with the latest news from Open Carry Texas, a gang of local Second Amendment extremists who keep getting kicked out of family restaurants for wearing high-powered military assault weapons. It’s gotten so bad even the NRA is trying to shut them down by issuing an official statement that frightening citizens, traveling in packs, harassing critics and swarming into malls and private businesses with AK-47s strapped to their backs is scary, stupid, unnecessary and really lousy public relations. Kory Watkins, Open Carry Texas’ frontman and Dipshit-in-Chief, appears below. He and his pals responded to the NRA’s statement by calling them “liberals” and shredding their membership cards. Holy mother of crap.

Incidentally, this is not Kory’s first appearance in the Howdygram. Click here for part of the backstory. Thank you.

I guess I should also mention that a few wacky Constitution-loving patriots from Operation American Spring are still hanging around in Washington, D.C. trying to kick out President Obama and overthrow the United States government. As you’ll note in the video clip below, the remaining stragglers include eight men, three women and a dog all marching in front of the White House screaming “REMEMBER BENGHAZI” until a police officer tells them it’s time to go home already. Frankly, you should know it’s a lost cause when you’re outnumbered by laughing tourists. (I think I feel sorry for the dog.)

Thank you for reading this. Tell your friends, okay?