Stage four water restrictions include laundering your underwear twice a month and showering with a friend.

It’s 3:30 Sunday morning and I’ve got some shocking news: IT’S RAINING. Not a lot, of course, because this is Texas and we’re in the middle of a drought, but it’s definitely raining and I can prove it! The red star on the map below denotes Howdygram headquarters. I’m sitting near a window in the study but you can’t see me because it’s dark outside. Go ahead and wave if you want to, okay?

In case you want to see what an extreme drought looks like I’ll post a couple of pictures from the Dallas Morning News website. Terrifying, aren’t they? The Brazos River should be full of boats and fishermen; Lake Granbury was once a gorgeous recreation area.

Most municipalities in Texas are under stage four water restrictions, which basically limits you to flushing when necessary, making a pot of coffee, laundering your underwear twice a month and showering with a friend. THAT’S IT. Lawns and trees are dropping dead, your car is crusted with dirt and under no circumstances are you allowed to fill a swimming pool or sod your yard. In Wichita Falls they’re drinking TOILET WATER.

Incidentally, I might be joking about a few items in the preceding paragraph ... but Wichita Falls isn’t one of them!

My hair is finally dry so I think I’ll go to bed now. You can hang out here for a while if you want to but please try not to make any noise. Thank you.