Holy crap, I’m SO DAMN EXCITED today! I just redesigned the Howdygram’s banner from a denim texture to wood because this is my blog, I can change anything I want AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. Thank you for understanding.
You may be aware that I’ve been trying to avoid national and international news for the last few weeks due to a severe frustration overload and general avoidance of a brain hemorrhage. However I feel compelled to post a Putz of the Week today because this is Texas and Rick Perry is at it again. This comes just 48 hours after Perry turned himself in at the Travis County Jail in Austin for two felony charges related to abuse of his office as
dipshit-in-chief governor. In a lame attempt to appear presidential, yesterday Perry warned an ultra-conservative audience of conspiracy theorists in Washington, D.C. there’s a “very real possibility” that ISIS terrorists from Iraq and Syria are illegally crossing into the United States from Mexico.
Holy crap.
“Certainly there is a great concern that the border between the United States and Mexico is un-secure, and we don’t know who’s using that. What I will share with you is that we’ve seen historic high levels of individuals from countries with terrorist ties over the course of the last months.” Perry added that even though there is NO EVIDENCE
— i.e., this is all basically a pile of steaming bullshit — that ISIS terrorists (or ANY terrorists) have attempted to creep into the U.S. across the Rio Grande, anything’s possible due to “weak border security” even though Texas already has 1,000 National Guard troops, several herds of heavily-armed amateur militia patriots in camouflage gear, douchebags sailing up and down the river in military gunboats and more federal border patrol agents than at any time in history.
Naturally, Governor Hairdo is blaming President Obama — a pro-Islamic Communist Nazi from Kenya who’s soft on terrorism — for probably sending out
engraved invitations. THIS IS WHY I WATCH WILLIAM POWELL MOVIES, PEOPLE. I can’t do this any more.
For the record, while Perry runs around the United States promoting himself as a potential presidential candidate in 2016 (providing he’s not in prison for the aforementioned felonies) I’d like y’all to keep in mind some of his accomplishments and core beliefs.
- He believes Medicare and Social Security are unconstitutional.
- One in four Texas children lives in poverty.
- Texas is the most uninsured state in the country with one in four citizens having no health insurance. Perry declined the free Medicaid expansion through Obamacare.
- Perry supports laws that make it illegal to be in a gay relationship and thinks homosexuality is a disease that can be cured with therapy.
- He is a climate change denier.
- He used “emergency measures” to force women to have invasive sonograms before abortions and then passed laws shutting down Planned Parenthood and nearly all of the state’s abortion clinics.
- Perry made a big show of denouncing President Obama’s stimulus package but eventually accepted it anyway to rescue Texas’ foundering budget.
- He has issued repeated threats that Texas should secede from the United States.
This pathetic screwball wants to be president. Be very, very afraid.
I’m probably the only human in Texas who wants a big pot of homemade soup when it’s 100° outside, but what the hell ... tonight for dinner it’s
EASY BEEF VEGETABLE SOUP FOR SENIOR CITIZENS with a side order of low-carb toast. The ingredients include: 1½ cups of Harmony House vegetable flakes with REAL PEAS and TEENY GREEN BEANS; a can of cooked ground beef from
Pleasant Hill Grain; one sack of drained angel hair Miracle Noodles; and two 32-oz. thingies of chicken broth.
You just dump everything into a nice big kettle, turn on the heat and let it simmer for about half an hour until the peas get soft. I’m going to thicken mine up with three tablespoons of
Thick’n Saucy from Netrition, which is a lot like corn starch except NO CARBS.
Thank you for reading this. I have to eat my soup now.
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