Guess what happens when illiterates run a newspaper.

Yo, everybody. It’s a hot and clammy Monday afternoon, and as far as I can tell I currently have three possible options: 1) write a post for the Howdygram even though I don’t feel especially inspired; 2) take another nap until it’s time for my next meal; and 3) I can’t think of anything else. However, since I’m already accomplishing item number one I guess I’ll just press on.

Some breaking news first, okay?

MY NEW MAGAZINE RACK IS HERE. It arrived this morning via the post office, and it’s as every bit cute as I expected and a perfect fit next to our brand new AMERICAN STANDARD WATER-SAVER TOILET WITH THE CLEVER SLOW-CLOSE LID THAT DOESN’T SLAM [see original post] in our hall bathroom. You know, for Pottery Barn catalogs and my monthly AARP magazine.

MY QUEST FOR THE PERFECT PANTRY CONTINUES. I just ordered two more water hyacinth storage bins from the Container Store to hold additional miscellaneous whatnots in our gorgeous reorganized pantry [see post]. The aforementioned whatnots will include pouches of tuna fish, salmon and Libby crumbly ground beef, hot & sour soup mixes and small jars of Better Than Bouillon that always get shoved around. I already have several of these bins in various sizes and I think they’re fantastic and VERY STURDY with metal frames.. Today I ordered two “small” ones that measure 13½" x 9"x 6" on sale for only $7.99 each. Check them out.

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And now for a hot story from our Guess What Happens When Illiterates Run A Newspaper department. The Philadelphia Public Record is eating Kung Pao Crow today after inadvertently publishing a moron’s racist photo caption with a story about a fundraiser for City Councilman Mark Squilla hosted by group of Asian-Americans. Holy shit. Take a look.

Aside from the ridiculously racist phony names “Me Too,” “Chinky Winky” and “Dinky Doo,” the other names listed don’t match up with the number of people in the photo from either direction. Editor Jimmy Tayoun, Sr., in response to the expected public hysteria, offered a compelling explanation. “It was a proofreading error. The editor who used those names did so because he didn’t have the actual names.” When asked why the editor didn’t use a generic placeholder instead of an ethnic slur, he insisted there’s no prejudice or bigotry involved here because the editor responsible is British. (And everybody knows the Brits aren’t racist, right?) “He didn’t mean anything by it. The Public Record is the most inclusive publication in Philadelphia.” You betcha. Pass the soy sauce.

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Tonight for dinner I’m making another pot of Easy Vegetable Beef Soup for Senior Citizens [see recipe] because yesterday when Sam and I reorganized the pantry we discovered that those big boxes of chicken broth have actual EXPIRATION DATES printed on them, and since several are expiring in September I promised I’d keep making soup until my bladder explodes.

Thank you for reading this.