Sam just walked in with a couple of good-lookin’ Sausage McMuffins.

Another day, another madhouse at Howdygram headquarters. That’s TWO DAYS IN A ROW, guys! As is my wont, here’s a neatly-typed, attractively-subtitled list of Saturday’s memorable events. Thank you.

GARY RE-GLUED THE TOILET. Our handyman showed up at noon to recaulk the American Standard Cadet® 3 water-saver toilet with a clever slow-close seat that he installed last Monday [see earlier post]. It looks like he pretty much got it right this time but I won’t know for sure until I actually use it. I’m scared.

OUR NEW CHAISE ARRIVED. Macy’s is a swell store for buying furniture. Aside from having swell quality and swell sale prices, they have swell delivery dudes in neatly-pressed uniforms who love their jobs, don’t ask for more than one drink of water even when it’s 102° outside AND THEY’RE ALWAYS ON TIME. (Yes, it was 102° here yesterday. Gah.)

AN ESSENTIAL CLOTHING PURCHASE. I have one primary guiding principle for true happiness in this life: THE MORE SOCKS YOU OWN, THE LESS OFTEN YOU HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY. With yesterday’s purchase from Amazon — two 10-packs of white Fruit of the Loom quarter socks — Sam now owns a bazillion pairs. (In our house we call them “muffles.” Don’t ask.)

A CONTRACT FOR SURVIVAL. While Gary caulked, Macy’s delivered and your editrix (me) shopped, Sam was outside on the front doorstep signing us up for bimonthly pest control treatments with Ecoshield Dallas because Texas has bugs as big as Buicks and if you don’t hire professional pest control people THE PESTS WILL ALWAYS WIN. Ecoshield only treats the OUTSIDE of your house, incidentally, such as windows, door frames, the garage, the foundation, the patio and the front and back yards. MAY WE NEVER SEE ANOTHER CRICKET, WASP OR FIRE ANT FOR THE REST OF OUR NATURAL LIVES.

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It’s 7:30 Sunday morning and Sam just walked in with a couple of good-lookin’ Sausage McMuffins. SAUSAGE McMUFFINS! Holy crap, people, it is very, very easy to be in love with this guy ... unanticipated greasy breakfasts notwithstanding.

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Before I start whining again I think I’d better haul myself into the family room and put my feet up because I’m having pain in my left heel again. The only thing that feels good is when I put no pressure on it whatsoever. Here’s to a (hopefully) pain-free Sunday. Shalom, y’all.