This has been a day from hell.

SUNDAY, 10/21/2018, 2:57 P.M. There’s something yooge to report this afternoon: I’m using my iMAC WORKSTATION right now! Sam and I figured out how to set up the iMac on my rolling tray table, and because my new lap desk won’t be delivered until tomorrow (Monday) I’ve got the keyboard balanced on a sheet of ordinary foam rubber. It’s all working fine! As a matter of fact, there’s a chance that I may not need that new lap desk at all. Stay tuned! Woo-hoo!

I’m really anxious to get back to my creative life again.

Good morning to you, one and all. Also shalom in case you didn’t know, or had forgotten, that Sam and I are Jewish.

After comparing four potential new Medicare Advantage plans for 2019, I’m pleased to announce my decision! I’ve decided to sign up for the Blue Cross Medicare Advantage Choice Plus (PPO) with a $0 monthly premium. The other three plans also had a $0 monthly premium … but Blue Cross stood out from the rest with its cheaper drug coverage.

Take care of your teeth … you’ll miss ’em when they’re gone.

It’s a bitter cold and overcast Monday morning here at Howdygram headquarters … about 34° with plenty of clouds. Tonight it will drop to freezing; tomorrow we’re expecting significant thunderstorms. This is an excellent situation, and I’m not complaining because we really need rain around here. Bring it on!

Happy anniversary to the Queen and Prince Philip!

Before I do anything else I’d like to wish all of you a very happy — and very belated — Thanksgiving. I hope your day was filled with piles of food and mountains of gravy. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH GRAVY. Seriously.

Aetna is not discontinuing my Medicare HMO plan for 2017 and Lenny is a moron.

Hello, bon jour and howdy from Texas, where your favorite blogger is attempting to cope with a week of monumental horseshit and unexpected disappointment. And I’m NOT just talking about the results of Tuesday’s election, either ... I’m also talking about my brand new Medicare health insurance plan with Aetna, which imploded yesterday after I contacted eHealth Medicare — the Internet broker that set me up with Aetna two months ago — to find out if any other plans had cheaper Part D drug co-pays because Sam had a couple of unpleasant cash register surprises at Wal-Mart’s pharmacy on Tuesday.

Oh boy ... it’s open enrollment season for old coots on Medicare!

Thank God for Sam. No kidding, people, he saves my life every goddamn day. This morning I woke up on the chaise in the family room in severe pain after the big surgical bandages on the back of my thighs curled up during the night and glued themselves to my open pressure sores. I can’t begin to describe the agony involved here so I’ll just assign this miserable experience with a “10” on my Shit-O-Meter scale and move on to better news: SAM FIGURED OUT A NEW AND BETTER WAY TO BANDAGE MY SORES! It’s almost 3 p.m. and I’ve been sitting at my desk since noon ... ALMOST PAIN-FREE. Wow. Thank you, Sam!

Yee-haw! Let’s have a Medicare party!

Oy, I did it. With my 65th birthday looming ahead I just signed up for a Medicare Advantage plan! On the first of October I’ll be covered by Aetna’s Medicare Prime HMO, a very fine insurance thing with no monthly premium, no office visit co-pays, free generic drugs and — best of all — I get to keep Dr. M as my primary care physician! As soon as I get my paperwork from Aetna we’ll forward a copy to the halfwits in Sam’s personnel department so they can cancel my group insurance coverage on the appropriate date. Yee-haw! LET’S HAVE A MEDICARE PARTY! I’ll bring the diapers, cookies and denture cleaner!

Little Marco is back from the dead.

Oy. Medicare. THERE’S SO MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM! Around 8:45 yesterday morning I was jolted from a dead sleep on the chaise by a chatty Medicare Advantage rep named Ava who shot me with a barrage of questions, found me an excellent Aetna HMO Medicare plan, and then asked for a list of my prescriptions — please spell them, Mrs. Marks, how many milligrams do you take and how many times a day — and I did it! FROM MEMORY! Even better, it seems that all of my drugs, even both kinds of insulin, are considered Tier 1 generics with NO CO-PAY. Wow, yee-haw and holy shit!

Donald Trump is a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball.

Shalom to you and yours from the fine people at Howdygram headquarters! Today I’m pleased to announce the arrival of a fat and exceptionally official envelope from the Department of Health and Human Services that heralds my enrollment in Medicare — drum roll! — and launches yours truly into the wild and crazy world of Parts A and B, Advantage Plans, Medigap insurance and thoroughly annoying Part D prescription drug coverage. Incidentally ... can somebody please tell me WHY IS INSULIN SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE when it’s been around since 1921?!

Poor Sam was “farmisht” today.

My project of the week? Two words: MEDICARE INSURANCE ... because I’ll be 65 in a few months and eligible for Medicare for the first time in my life. Although I didn’t think I’d need to worry about this until Sam retires in 2022 — right now I’m covered by his company’s Blue Cross plan — after finding out that Sam is actually paying a lot more than we realized for dependent coverage I’ve decided to get prices for Medicare policies and see what’s what. I’m definitely on the right track with this, too, because private Medicare policies are geared to senior citizens and cover a lot more services — visiting nurses, durable medical equipment, free annual hearing and vision tests, cheapo E.R. visits, diabetes at-home testing supplies, etc. — for old coots than Sam’s Blue Cross plan at work, which is focused on a much younger patient population that wants maternity coverage, “well baby” care and rehab for sports injuries. I have some work to do.

Oy. The Lucky Charms leprechaun is dead.

It’s 6 p.m. and I just ate lunch. No, seriously ... I JUST ATE LUNCH! And there are three excellent reasons how come: 1) I showered today at 1 p.m. and then conked out for a nap in the family room as soon as I dried off and Sam replaced the dressing on my pressure sores; 2) I woke up around 5:15; and 3) I wasn’t really hungry until now.