The Howdygram 2: I’m so happy I could have a stroke … “Journey to the Center of the Earth” is on FXM this week!

Happy Monday morning from Howdygram headquarters! It’s 2:26 a.m., and I’m trying to amuse myself until Sam gets out of bed and moseys into the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker. At that point it may also be bedpan time … an event that requires no additional explanation whatsoever. Deal with it, okay?

I enjoyed some productive creative time with my iMac workstation yesterday, as evidenced by the fact that I finally started working on my new line of iPhone cases for THE HOWDYGRAM STORE … and a case for Sam’s new iPhone 6S (pictured below) was at the top of my to-do list. Attractive, right? Even better, Zazzle had its entire collection of iPhone cases on sale yesterday, so I also managed to save 50%! It’s always a great idea to wait for a sale when you’re shopping for Zazzle’s merchandise. I do it all the time, even if I’m only ordering a couple of greeting cards, because damn near everything goes on sale at least once or twice a month. And these are good sales, too … usually 40% to 60% off.

On Sunday I designed a custom case for Sam’s iPhone 6S.

HINT … if you sign up for Zazzle’s promotional mailings you’ll always know in advance when everything goes on sale. Send me an EMAIL for more information, okay?

Please allow me to offer a few informative updates regarding hospice-related issues. First, MY HYDROCODONE PRESCRIPTION. I finally won my opioid battle with the hospice doctor! On Saturday he finally agreed to discontinue all of my Morphine prescriptions — extended-release tablets plus liquid Morphine for “breakthrough” pain — in exchange for my opioid-of-choice, 10mg Hydrocodone, six a day as needed. I was told to finish up the last of my extended-release Morphine tablets (about five days’ worth) and then keep an eye out for Hydrocodone deliveries immediately afterwards. Fabulous … I’m finally through with the doctor’s “mind games.” I WON!

Second, I’ve been begging for a FLU SHOT since the beginning of September, and apparently they’re finally in-stock at the hospice pharmacy. My R.N. will bring it Wednesday morning during her regular visit at 10:30.

One last hospice-related tidbit … yesterday afternoon somebody finally picked up the gigantic HOYER SENIOR CITIZEN FORKLIFT (and sling) that had been shoved out of sight in a corner of our kitchen for the last couple of weeks. We don’t intend to use this maniac contraption — it’s too awkward, too painful for me and too damn much work for Sam — especially since Sam had to figure it out all by himself and we never had any instructions, tips or help.

There are lots of exciting hoo-hahs on my calendar for the rest of the week! Please bear with me as I offer a complete list for your possible interest.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31. At 9 a.m. I’ll see my podiatrist, Dr. Wright, for diabetic foot and toenail maintenance, and at 10:30 my hospice R.N. and C.N.A. will be here for routine bathing, hygiene and wound care. Our maid shows up at 12:30 to clean the house. Also, in case you’re still clinging to your childhood, Sam and I would like to wish you a happy Halloween.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1. Happy birthday to me!
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2. At 2 a.m. I’ll receive a belated birthday gift from the FXM (Fox Movies) cable channel … they’re showing Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring James Mason and Pat Boone, and I get to record it for permanent storage on our DVR! Up till now I’ve only been able to rent it, whenever it’s been available, for 30 days at a time from HBO’s “on demand” channel. Except three months ago (without consulting me!) HBO pulled Journey to the Center of the Earth out of it’s on demand lineup … and left me completely heartbroken until the day before yesterday, when I discovered that it’s a featured title on FXM in November. I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED I COULD HAVE A STROKE! Oh, also on Friday morning … I’ve got my hospice C.N.A. and R.N. coming over at 10:30 for bathing, hygiene and wound care.

Oh boy, huh?

This morning Sam picked up another wonderful Wal-Mart Grocery order that included Marie Callender’s Spaghetti with Meat Sauce, stuffed crabs, Stouffer’s Stuffed Peppers, Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, four dinner rolls from Wal-Mart’s bakery, Buddig chicken lunch meat, half a gallon of diet sweet iced tea, two jugs of sugar-free Ocean Spray juice drinks (Cran-Pineapple and Cran-Cherry) and a few dessert treats … Hostess Sno-Balls and Philadelphia cherry cream cheese thingies. (I know, I know … I’m diabetic. But I’m pretty sure it’s too late now to sweat an occasional “carby” treat!)

It’s 6:45 p.m. and Sam and I are watching Objective, Burma! (1945) starring Errol Flynn, which is one of our favorite WWII movies. In addition, I’m drinking a very large, very tasty tumbler of Ocean Spray Diet Cran-Pineapple juice and contemplating what’s for dinner. I’m thinking I’ll have those stuffed crabs (refrigerated, from Wal-Mart’s deli department) and maybe one of those nice dinner rolls on the side. Woo-hoo … I’m officially hungry!

Thank you for reading this. Be my guest and remember the Alamo if you want to. Or maybe not.