The Howdygram 2: I’m getting some Stouffer’s stuffed peppers tomorrow. I love stuffed peppers!

Know what? Sam will probaby strangle me for this, but I want to show the world how adorable he is. Because I’m a bedridden coot and he’s my only caregiver, Sam spends a lot more time at home than he used to. Which means he occasionally looks for indoor projects to fill his free time … and maintenance of the master bedroom closet has been one of them. So here’s what Sam did with his summer polo shirts last week … now they’re perfectly organized by COLOR. When I saw this picture I squealed!

A "squeal-worthy” sight: Sam’s summer polo shirts, perfectly organized by color!

FYI, about nine years ago I jazzed-up every closet at Howdygram headquarters with matching black velvet hangers, including various styles for simple shirts, some for suits, some with clips for skirts, some that hook onto each other, and so on. They’re lightweight, they’re flexible, and you wind up with lots more room on your closet rods.

Incidentally, don’t get tricked into ordering those bullshit (overpriced) “Huggable Hangers” from HSN, though. You get the best deals from Wal-Mart, Amazon and Costco.

Give your closets a face lift with matching black velvet hangers. You’ll need millions of them!

There’s a lot going on around here, boys and girls, so I thought this would be a fine time to share it all with you. (If you don’t give a crap please feel free to read something else, okay?)

Although today has been relatively quiet except for watching “The People’s Court” and a pathetically cheesy movie called The Story of Dr. Wassell (1944) starring Gary Cooper, tomorrow (Friday) I’ve got a HOSPICE C.N.A. stopping by at 10:30 for my bathing and hygiene session. A HOSPICE R.N. will be here at the same time for my weekly checkup and to offer Sam a few pointers — although I don’t think he really needs any — as he hooks me up to the HOYER LIFT and transports me over to the commode. Incidentally, we finally found a way to protect the skin on my poor thighs from the intense pressure of being “hoisted”: FOAM RUBBER! I sent Sam to a JoAnn Fabrics store for a flexible sheet of inch-thick foam rubber, which we wrap around my thighs before we use the sling. No more pain!

This evening after Sam wakes up from his nap it’s time to WASH MY HAIR again with one of those fabulously neat little no-rinse shampoo caps that I buy from Amazon … plus it’s also time to arrange for another grocery pick-up from Wal-Mart!

Really does a fabulous job. Just be glad if you don’t need to use them.

Where the WAL-MART ORDER PICK-UP is concerned, Sam chose the 1 to 2 p.m. time window tomorrow afternoon while I finished up my online checkout procedures. I ordered all kinds of fantastic crapola from our nearby Superstore on the I-30 service road … frozen seasoned curly fries and hash browns, exotic Popsicle flavors, taco ingredients (including frozen pre-cooked taco meat!), frozen Buffalo chicken strips, deli cole slaw, Bob Evans mashed potatoes, tasty little Jimmy Dean frozen spinach frittatas, canned fruit, Stouffer’s stuffed peppers (I love stuffed peppers!) and so on. It’s everything we need for all kinds of pleasant little quick meals … easy to heat up and easy to eat while I’m propped up in a hospital bed. Woo-hoo!

Pre-cooked and pre-seasoned frozen taco meat. I ordered two packages.

I don’t eat much of anything any more. I’ve been on all kinds of diets throughout the decades of my life, but not eating is a new concept for me. Even when I’m hungry I can fill up on two Popsicles. IT’S JUST FROZEN WATER, right? I eat maybe one tiny meal a day (i.e., half a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli or four bites of a pre-cooked Angus hamburger patty from Costco), but I suppose that’s understandable as I’m completely bedridden, I don’t do anything of any consequence and I definitely don’t get any exercise. I guess it’s no wonder I’ve been losing bundles of weight.

I think I’ll lull myself to sleep now with a favorite movie … Gosford Park (2001) starring Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon and Bob Balaban. This is actually an intriguing Robert Altman murder mystery set on an enormous British country estate in the early 1930s. The cast of thousands also includes Kristin Scott Thomas, Helen Mirren and Ryan Phillippe.