Manischewitz Beet Borscht is the perfect way to spend a lazy summer afternoon.

FRIDAY, 8/14/2018, 9:57 P.M. It’s a quiet Friday night here at Howdygram headquarters. Sam is asleep on the sofa, mumbling, and I just placed fabulous online orders with Wal-Mart — a six-jar set of Manischewitz Beet Borscht for yours truly, 12 pairs of socks for Sam and an ear wax removal kit — plus two nice pairs of fluffy, lightweight athletic shoes from Amazon, obviously for Sam as well because I haven’t been able to walk since the spring of 2012. Incidentally, I have a quick question about Fruit of the Loom’s ridiculous packaging claim: What the fuck are “EVERYDAY CUSHIONED ANKLES?”

From Wal-Mart … a six-pack of Beet Borscht for me and 12 pairs of socks for Sam.

This is what the aforementioned ear wax removal kit looks like. Wal-Mart’s store brand (Equate) is almost two bucks cheaper than the name brand and probably just as good, but the name brand kit was out of stock yesterday. So I bought Equate instead.

I look forward to not being stone deaf any more. I haven’t really been able to hear for such a long time … online videos, TV volume, voices in the room and so on. I thought I was just 80% deaf until I read the reviews for this ear wax removal kit. I’m expecting MIRACLES!

I have a feeling I won’t be stone deaf any more.

And now I’d like to provide a photo of Sam’s fine new walking shoes from Amazon. They were relatively inexpensive (only $24.99) so I bought two pairs … dark blue with white soles (see below) and black with black soles. The black ones look exactly like the blue ones except, you know, they’re not blue.

Sam’s new walking shoes from Amazon. Lightweight, cute and not expensive.

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SATURDAY, 9/15/2018, 5:34 P.M. Hello. It’s been a quiet, uneventful Saturday around here with occasional teeny thundershowers passing overhead. Yesterday at this time I was sitting at my computer workstation eating an entire jar of Manischewitz Beet Borscht while Sam filled my two-week pill sorter. Beet borscht is the perfect way to spend a lazy summer afternoon. Okay, I might be exaggerating … but it’s right up there in the top ten.

We really struck gold today, boys and girls! This collection of FREE FONTS includes four fabulous scripts — two of them with multiple styles — in addition to a fine text font (“Pequena”) with a few quirky letterforms, hand-drawn fun fonts (“Agrifan,” “Smoothy,” “Julie”) and all sorts of playful display fonts (“Brother,” “Banthink,” “Highflier”). Plus … I’m also throwing in “Ampersanders,” a font that’s jam-packed full of decorative and artistic ampersands in dozens of different styles! I ADORE AMPERSANDS, and they’re right up there in my top ten list of favorite things ... directly after beet borscht! I’ve been collecting gorgeous ampersands for years. (Having 100 of them all in one place is pure heaven.) Download links will appear below the graphic. Use them okay?

Matchstick • Wild Smith • Trailfinder • Pequena • Smoothy • Agrifan • Julie

Kingfisher • Brother & Brightsight • Ampersanders • Banthink • Highflier

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The asshole in the White House is so delusional that he can’t even admit ever knowing his former campaign chair (Manafort) or personal lawyer (Cohen). But I’ll continue tossing in a few political cartoons just for the hell of it because they give me a perverse sense of personal freedom. Woo-hoo!

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Tonight for dinner I think I want Chinese food because I’ve been craving Tofu Tempura and Chicken Egg Foo Young from China City for more than a week already. Since it’s a few minutes past 6 maybe I should wake Sam and place an order!

Thank you for reading this. Have you tried to remember the Alamo lately?